I wish that I was an anime girl (17 M)

Ever since I was like 12, I've wanted to be an anime girl. I want to be cute and have fun with friends and fall in love. I hate being a guy, I few months ago I dressed feminine and wore makeup. But my parents made me stop, so now I feel like a fraud anytime I call myself a girl anywhere. It's not the same, anymore. I just want to be a pretty girl and dress pretty and look pretty and smell pretty, but life sucks. I have a naturally feminine body and stuff but it's still not enough for me. I want someone to be in love with me and obsess over me I want so much love that I'll burst. Anime girls get so much love and so many people like them, maybe if I was as pretty as them I would be loved.