feeling vunerable, need to vent

I'm feeling incredibly wayward. This lonely disposition that sometimes overcomes me is a result of a Breaking of the illusion that I'm living in. This illusion of the future is a picture of Fame and wealth and Fortune and why would it not be bestowed upon me? I am talented, I am smart I have all the capabilities. And yet I find my confidence faltering, and with that a flicker of what my reality is, and the insane leaps I must take to get to where my future is open up to me like a cavern that I must jump across. When I look at my landing spot, it seems so clos,e so easily accessible.  but there are moments where I glance down and I see the true nature of what's at stake.

 I commit myself 100% to one day being famous for music.

 but today it feels like I'm going to die a regular person :/

And that's a fate Im not ok with coming to terms with