You ever blank out years from memories

The title says it (and this is more a vent post than a proper discussion one, you're free to comment if you've had a similar experience tho), but for me that's the second half of 2019 (starting from about July) to about mid 2020 (also about July, funnily), so I basically blanked my whole years being 16, and tbh that's probably because without exaggeration, those were the worst years of my life.

Was a combo of stuff, mainly having lost my best friend in May 2019 (school found our texts where we joked about other students and accused us of being bullies, we sorta split apart after that), and becoming extremely bitter and angry about nearly everything as a result, compounded harder by me being a teen and all at the time. Didn't help that I was both already sorta bigoted (mainly regarding LGBT people, wasn't full on homo/transphobe but I said some pretty shitty things towards them) and spent way too much time on Twitter/Discord arguing with people about shit that doesn't matter which just compounded the issue. I had already been doing that prior to then but it really kicked in around then.

Like I found new (IRL) friends afterwards around the start of the next school year, but still didn't really recover from all that to a state I'd consider "fine" till like July 2020, I might've recovered quicker but lockdowns happened in early 2020, but on a more positive note I WAS already starting to recover a bit around March, partially due to leaving my old asshole friend group (that I was part of since 2017, so the first I had joined online) and finding new people to talk to.

Just sorta wish I had spent more time working on trying to recover and fix myself rather than just lashing out at everything and everyone, I'd have times where I'd go days neglecting my hygiene (nothing MAJOR, but I wouldn't wash my hair or brush my teeth for days at a time), but (thankfully, honestly) don't remember much from then, nearly everything is a major blur save for a handful of things (both good and bad).

Thankfully like I mentioned, I started fully recovering around July 2020, hell, I had a realization in December that year like "damn I wasted a whole year and a half of my life when I was so much happier in the past" and essentially reset myself back to early 2019, and 2021 was one of my best years as a result, so I'm LONG past that now.