☆ First Blog ☆

Hi everyone, this is Julieth. This is my very first blog on SpaceHey, but I was honestly thinking about venting, talking about my feelings openly, and sharing my opinions to random people who didn't know who I was behind the screen because it feels more comfortable to me, it feels cooler to use an app just like this when I was watching Gossip Girl just two minutes ago, and it just feels more venting.

Today's topic is: Friendships, being left alone, and feelings.

Honestly, I'm one of those people who had difficulties in the past making friends. My experience in elementary school wasn't good, at all, and in middle school it was just a little bit better. Going forward with my life, I've been getting to know new people, going to dance classes, it's obvious that you need to make new friends, that you have to at least talk with all of the crew's member to grow a minimum relationship. It's a crew, a family in many situations. To me, though, it is so much more difficult. All the people in the crew are younger than me, they're all close to each other and sometimes cooler than me. I'm a girl that doesn't take care of herself that much. Obviously I'm clean, I wash myself etc. I love to do skin care, but I'm just too lazy to do that. Everyone's got a skin better than mine with no pimples or imperfections, while my skin is full of imperfections. I don't really care about that, it was just to say how they seem to be different than me. I feel like they obviously prefer others than me and, when I try to make new friends, they seem to be lying to me, telling me lies, saying "oh yes I'd LOVE to hang out with you" but they never find some time to actually hang out with you. I love making new friends, knowing many people to text to, but they seem to be fake.. And I'm just so paranoid from previous experiences in my life that I can't get myself to trust any of those guys.

Another experience that resulted to be the same as my past is, having a crush on someone. I got a crush on a guy in my dance class, we texted a lot at first, then he started texting less and less and I was always the one reaching out, till one night he blocked me for no reason and I'm still blocked. People been telling me he broke his phone but, how does he see my messages on the dance wa group when his phone is broken.? I honestly do not really care, I stopped thinking it was my fault for everything like I used to do in the past because that just got me bad feelings and locking myself in my room not even feeling like going out. And only in these fiew days I started to appreciate my city, seeing it while it was raining, wet streets, fallen leafs, pretty christmas lights and decorations.. I feel like taking care of myself more and, Ireally wanna dive into discipline, school, gym, understanding my value and worth. I appreciate if any of you could give me some advices, I'll take em all.

This was my venting blog, I hope it didn't bore y'all, also because I had fun writing it and now I feel better. This was all for today. Thank you!

Julieth's off.