soo i have this friend, my classmate, we always joke around calling each other stupid nicknames, he called me punk meanwhile i called him paranoid android (he likes radiohead, and there's his name there in somewhere in that song title lol). we talked about music, what i know that he likes oasis, radiohead, some girlgroup and more. we're not really close but we quite talked a lot.
BUT one day during exam, so there's his close friends (which are girls, he's friend with quite lots of girls by the way (lowkey almost assuming that he's gay))
so they come up to me and said that he likes me, i was skeptical (like bro aint no way that's fr? aint no way anybody could like me, thats so weird)
so i dont really think about that much, on that moment i was just smile and uh i think i smirk a bit cause i thought they were joking and he's just standing there not that faraway from us, staring at me. like, no, that cant be, right?
okay so, i shrug it off that day, cause that kind of thing always happened to me especially in middle school where there's someone came up to me and said that someone liked me, i was to stupid and innocent and fell for it at first those days and then eh im getting used to it.
and days after, i cant stop thinking about it. like, what if its real this time and i reacted poorly that day. ugh. i really afraid that i had hurt his feelings. BUT IDK
i wont trust it unless it came directly from his mouth, not by some other ppl.
soo now. i tried to interact with him as usual but he acts differently. he's distant and nonchalant wtf
i tried to call him by the nickname that i gave him but he ignores me, i tried to strike a convo but he just answers shortly. DID I HURT HIS FEELINGS?!
SO I HAVE FEW PROBABILITIES ⇣
- he liked me, but i reacted badly that day and he mistook me for not into him and he gave up on his feelings for me, thats why his being distant
- he doesnt like me at all and his friends teases him because i interact with him a lot everyday, like matchmaking and stuff and he's uncomfortable with it so he keeps his distance with me because he doesnt want to be joked with
- he doesnt like me at all and have a girlfiend
(i swear he hangs a lot with girls, and there's this one girl that he always go out with, like they're close but doesnt look like a couple but also look like a couple. i just cant see if they're besties or dating. and she's one of the people who told me that he likes me)
so my probability is that they're dating and his friends teases him because me who's been jokin around with him, like teases him that he's close with someone else meanwhile he have a girl
UGH I DONT KNOW AT ALL
i totally overthink everything and been stressed out for days. im just scared that it'll be a lie and me being stupid and fell for it and experience my middle school self all over again, the times where i hate myself so much for being dumb and too innocent and fell for that person deeply just to find out it was some of joke
or im afraid that i just hurt someone's feeling. i hate the feeling of rejection and im afraid that he felt that way though i dont really shows him that i reject or friendzoned him.
i really want to reach out to him and ask, but im so scared, im scared that it'll happen again. its quite traumatic for me. but im so curious and couldnt get this off my head
i hate that we're being distant now.
how can we just go from being friendly with each other and now just glances and silence.
it's so awkward man, i really really want to know the truth and the funny thing is,
i do have feelings for him.
Comments
Displaying 0 of 0 comments ( View all | Add Comment )