All Evil Men Look Like My Dad

I know what you’re thinking. I sound like some girl with serious daddy issues.

And yeah—fair. You’re right.

This phrase started as a joke between my sister and me. Whenever we’re watching a movie, a show, or a documentary, and some evil guy shows up on screen—fat, mustached, kind of charming in that unsettling way—my sister points at the TV and laughs.

“Hey, that’s your dad.”

“I didn’t know your dad was into acting.”

We laugh. Because what else are you supposed to do?

We have different dads, by the way. That matters.

My dad, like a lot of dads, was inactive. Not present. Not consistent. Not really there in any way that counted. And when he was around, he wasn’t very fatherly. He did things dads aren’t supposed to do—toward me, toward my siblings, toward the role he was supposed to fill.

That’s part of why I think he’ll probably die alone. It’s not funny. It’s just something I’ve accepted.

What really messed with me was realizing that when I dated someone, he kind of looked like my dad. And worse—he acted like him. That’s when it clicked. It’s not that all men who look like my dad are evil. But for me? Most of them feel that way.

My brain already decided.

I started connecting the dots. Authority. Charm. Neglect. Cruelty dressed up as confidence. Men who take up space and leave damage behind, then act surprised when no one wants to stay.

I feel bad for myself sometimes, knowing my dad left such a bad imprint on me that every villain I see immediately reminds me of him. If I were a dad, I’d at least try to be better. But we don’t always get what we want. Some people don’t even try.

These ugly-but-charming men who somehow make women fall in love with them—like my mom did—honestly? They should burn in hell, in my opinion. And yeah, it’s my opinion. What are you gonna do about it?

If you want a clear picture of what my father looked like, think of that mayor from Calauan—you know. That’s the face. Now think of every other man who looks like that. Almost every villain in movies. In fiction. In real-life crime stories.

You see it, right?

I’m not saying all fat, ugly men with beards are evil.

I’m saying they look like my dad.

And my dad—

my dad is evil.