Floater friend

(I'm using a translator; English is not my first language.)

Being the floater friend sucks.

This year I was part of a new group of friends. We were all in the same class, and now that the year is over, I won’t see them anymore — and honestly, I’m glad.

I always tried to be open with them. I talked as much as I could so they would notice me. I’m afraid of being alone; I’ve been bullied almost my entire life, and in every friend group I join, the same thing happens. I’m exhausted.

Even when I tried to make my presence more noticeable, no one seemed to care whether I was there or not. I could leave quietly or loudly, and no one would realize it.

I was always there whenever they needed help, but they never thought of me when they wanted to talk in private. And when I needed help, no one answered. I never left them alone, but they constantly left me alone. They justified it by saying they always asked for my opinion, but in reality, they only did it to win arguments.

I felt used and excluded during the time I was “friends” with them. I have to admit that I also felt disgusted in a way. They constantly criticized people and were proud of it. They mocked other people’s appearances and then claimed they would never judge someone by their looks.

As if things couldn’t get any worse, one of them has a brother who is much older than me. He was my friend at first, and I used to invite him to my house, but then he started doing disgusting things — touching my thighs and my private parts. I tried several times to make him stop, but he kept doing it as if it were a game.

I told a friend what was happening to me, and he talked to her about it. She treated me as if she didn’t believe me, like I was lying, and that made me feel completely powerless. I understand that he’s your brother, but it’s not my fault that your brother is a fucking pedophile.

I’m writing all of this because I’m extremely angry about my situation, but fortunately I’m transferring to another school, and I hope I’ll meet new people there.