i called out from work today

today is the last day before winter break and i called out from work.

i think this entire week has been leading up to me getting sick. on tuesday, i woke up extremely nauseous with a headache. i still went into work, but i told my coworkers that i wasn't feeling well but i had a hard time calling off due to bad work environments at previous jobs. on wednesday i felt a little better, but on thursday i felt worse and and chomping on cough drops all day. told my coworkers again i wasn't feeling well, even letting a couple of the kids at work know i was feeling a bit icky too (btw i've been wearing a mask on the days i've gone in while not feeling well ofc). 

last night after getting home from work, i had been feeling awful. my throat hurt, and at least one of my nostrils was filled with snot throughout the night. i took a hot shower to try to flush out the sickness but i still ended up going to sleep with a tissue stuffed up my nose. i went to sleep at midnight, woke up at 4am because i couldn't breathe since there was too much snot in my nose, woke up again at 7am with my nose still stuffy and my throat hurting, and when i fully woke up at 9 all of my sinuses felt clogged up and there was still so. much. snot. 

i still went to therapy this morning and let her know i haven't been feeling well but i'm scared to call out from work. a couple of my coworkers had told me yesterday that they wouldn't be coming in today so i was scared of my job being short staffed, and i didn't want to stress anybody out. she reminded me that i was sick. i wouldn't get fired or in trouble for being sick. my coworkers were aware i haven't been feeling well this week. and it would be fine. i'm still a reliable coworker even if i need to call out for one day. she told me i need to center myself in this situation and take care of myself and be kind to myself. i needed to rest to get better (especially before the holidays coming up). she helped me draft a text message to my supervisor telling her that i was sick and would not be coming in today. 

my supervisor read the message a couple minutes later, but didn't reply for nearly an hour. i was so anxious and scared that i was in trouble or something!! i was messaging my mom and my friend about it, how i felt so anxious about calling in and they told me the same thing my therapist told me: i was sick and needed to rest and i would not be as great of a help i could be at work if i was working while sick. i even tried to convince myself that i was feeling better and that i could backtrack about calling in- my snot cleared up for a couple minutes and i could breathe, my throat feels slightly less scratchy, maybe i can go in to work! my supervisor actually responded to me in the middle of me writing this post actually, she told me she hopes that i feel better and wished me a nice winter break. i felt a wave of relief wash over me when i saw her texts. it was literally fine and it's ok that i called out and i can spend the afternoon resting instead of taking care of a bunch of kids. along with the relief that washed over me, it felt like all of my symptoms from my cold came rushing back upon the confirmation from my supervisor. my nose is sill runny, i still have a stuffy sinus headache, and i'm currently drinking a cup of lemon ginger tea with honey to relieve my sore throat. 

yay to taking the day to rest and feel better even if it did make me so nervous and scared.

me rn bcz i'm sick: