Actual Doomsday enjoyers?

TW: DEATH, SUICIDAL IDEATION, MAYBE DEPRESSION AND SOME CRAY CRAY STUFF

OK I never log in here and I also guess this is the most proper tag to post about it.

In short I will ramble about us ending as a species and how cool I think that would be in hopes to find other chill people who also love the idea but aren't interested in cults or religion or any form of organized "doomsday rituals". I'm just looking for some "yeah, me too", being medicated is not mandatory but I think it would be better lol.

I'm just tired of us as a species and I don't see any hope in us getting better. I'm so glad birth rates are declining in various countries from different continents but I'm also sad by the fact that it is mostly because those living there are in extremely poor working conditions and the costs of living make even owning a car expensive.

I just wish we could all in one moment to another vanish and leave the rest of the species alone in peace. No, I'm not vegan. But after some trauma regarding partners and family I can't picture an actual good reason to have children.

I've heard the "who would care about you when you're old" and tbh being a burden to my family is not what I would like to be in my final years.

It's just frustrating watching every generation have their own traumas and having their "own problems" that lead to poor monetary or parenting desitions.

And we have a very long time until the rich can finally live in mars. And I'm 100% sure that they will ruin every resource for the poor or any other being who has to stay here.

I just wish we could all just die and be gone. Centralized power was a mistake even before capitalism and any idiot who shouts louder will get there because that seems to be our nature as animals. I'm heartbroken that heroes don't exists and that I can't even help my own family because the legal "safer" options seem worse than what they are going through. I always knew death was the only relief and I'm so sure it's just going to be for so many more. Because not only the ones who maybe could do something can't help, but the system won't and doesn't care. And I'm ignoring the money factor because besides power and whatever, everyone everywhere is so jaded and just wants to go to their own home because they also have shit to deal with.

Leaving angst aside. It all feels so hopeless that the idea of everything suddenly "not being" feels so relieving, refreshing, even enthusiastic.

I had a fun conversation some months ago with my mother about it. She's a religious person and knows I'm doing therapy and medication, but probably in a hurry just said "you aprove your uni exams first, and then you die!" was probably more about her belief that a title would give me money. It made me chuckle, it was endeering (not in a condescending way, I just tossed that idea with no expectations and that was so like her to say lmao).

This post is inspired by a certain movie I want to watch and oh boy I don't even want to mention more about it so the algorythm doesn't spoil me anything. But that also made me curious. Like, has anyone ever just wished the world to end so everything that is wrong in the world that can't be changed can also just die? Have you ever saw some of those fake 2nd coming of jesus and really wished it was true but kept scrolling?

Death sounds scary, but more terrifying is knowing that only my own suffering will stop. And before anyone types the "oh just be like Greta and stfu" 1) You are reading this on your will so your feellings are your job to hande, not mine (there is a TW and everything because I know people like you love to be angry on the internet) and 2) Your low tier prepubescent joke seems to ignore that not even all the money in the world could change how things are done because there are so many people entagled with their own interests and lack of care for the rest. If you do happen to be prepubescent and have reached this far, please go watch cute puppies on youtube and get informed about history from any country to know that this pattern has happened, and will forever happen until something hopefully erase us.

I know this is too much rambling but I wanted to talk to someone about it. Like, do you have any future plans despite your love for a doomsday happening? I came back to university to study a ramification of science just because I deeply love learning about nature and I hope once I stabilize my study schedule, I can get a job to have a department to live with my gf and her cat.