Pass 9pm

it’s past midnight now. i said i’d stay awake until 9 and i did, but i thought i’d crash right after. like once i made it past that point my body would just give up or something . it didn’t

i feel like i missed the window. does that make sense? like there was a point where sleep would’ve happened and now it’s just gone. i keep laying down and getting back up because it feels useless. every time i check the clock more time has passed than i expect

this is the part i hate. when you’re not tired enough to sleep but too tired to do anything else. everything feels slightly wrong. not bad, just off. like my body and my brain are doing two different things

i keep telling myself it’s fine and that i’ll just be tired tomorrow and reset naturally, but i’ve been telling myself that for days now. weeks, probably

i’m not even sleepy anymore. just stuck awake

i’m going to try again in a little bit. if it doesn’t work i don’t know what i’ll do. i just don’t want to mess this up again