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hi I just want to rant a bit on here cause this a hard topic to talk with my irl friends.
I genuinely think that I'm so ugly, this is not for fishing some compliments or something but these past few months I genuinely have feel pretty ugly and I have been lacking confidence, I always have been a insecure person cause of the bullying that I have gone through throughout my life. Now im a senior and the bullying since I started highschool has stopped but that doesn't mean that this didn't affect me.
About my love life, I had been in only one relationship, It was an online relationship with a girl that now is one of my friends in 2021, but that's the only romantic interaction that I had have... In my whole life, I have liked many people before, girls, boys and non binary persons but I never said anything to them, I tend to act pretty awkward with them or too loud and that's my personality but when im around a person that I like I tend to said so many stupid things that it makes me soo embarrassed even if that happens many months ago or even years.
Right now I'm on winter break and after this I'm gonna be on my last year of highschool, I like this guy but I've only knew him for a couple of months, we are friends and I think he's one of the kindest and funniest persons that I have know. For (more) context in my school every semester they changed the whole groups so you don't know who's gonna be with you in your classroom and im scared of two things:
1 that i have class with him
2 that I don't have class with him
He's a very introvert person but when I became closer to him he's more open and pretty chill and also he likes the same or similar things that I do (videogames, anime, memes, etc), but I'm scared of what could happen if I ever let him know about my feelings for him, I don't want to make him uncomfortable or even worst that he sees me with disgust, cause ik that could happen. I'm not pretties person in school, there's plenty of people that are better and maybe I'm exaggerating and overthinking an hypothetical situation but still Im not sure if ever wanna do something.
Y'all are free or giving advice or even judge my whole rant I just wanted to take out this feeling.
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DuckTries
Girl, tbh I am not sure how to exactally help you without sounding rude.
In my own experience, I had this friend that had I crush on me but I didn't, they confessed and (my assexual ass) tryed to have some kind of romatic relationship. Eventually I told them that I don't have feelings for them and nowadays we are best friends. I know this is like a one experience in billions but I think that if he (does not like you romantically) likes u as a friend and does not want for your friendship to end would at least try to give you space to get over your feelings so you guys can remain friends.
Also, I am the type of person that prefers to risk it all instead of regreting what I "could have done" later so I would be the type of person to strongly advise you to confess. Also, since you will be going to your last year I have a question: "Will you go to the same university?" If the answer is no than even if he does not want to be your friend anymore you will most probally never see him again so I feel like it would be a worthy risk.
Ps.: I find that treating yourself to shopping clothes helps a lot with self-steem, like trying to create a really cool outfit from thrift stores. Because (in my view) if you think you have a ugly body, or face, you try to "compensate" with the clothes and it is crazy how a good outfit changes the perception you have of yourself. I started doing this and the more I do it the less ugly I feel (physically and in my outfits).
Ops, sorry for the log ass text ( ˶°ㅁ°) !!
by DuckTries; ; Report
Don't worry!!(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡ I really appreciated it thank you so much you are such a kind person!!
by nana; ; Report