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People love arguing, it’s just a part of our nature. Everyone wants to be right and convince everyone else that they are right. It turns into a sort of paradox. Online is a breeding ground for petty arguments and debates that amounts to namecalling to doxxing.
It’s embarrassing to say that when I had Tiktok, I was a commenting warrior. Arguing on every post that made me angry, and trying to convince everyone I was right. (I was but that’s not the point)
My need for arguments grew when I couldn’t find them in the comment sections. I’d watch debate lives constantly and I fed off of people getting angry and the person I was rooting for winning. None of these arguments ever really gave me any satisfaction. And it wasn’t until this summer when I really started protecting my peace and removing myself from arguments that are otherwise pointless.
Sometimes I still fall back into my habits but I think I have overall done pretty good to prevent my every moment focusing on winning against some Nazi that isn’t going to change their ideals in a Tiktok comment section.
I still occasionally get involved in debates on Spacehey, but I usually don’t anymore. It’s exhausting. It usually is, debating with people who don’t know how to argue
Recently I’ve witnessed a few blogs that became breeding grounds for arguments. As I read through, I realized how nobody can argue without insulting, saying something like “i’m not reading allat,” completely ignoring the topic at hand, or not even having a good argument to begin with. It’s crazy. You all are literally wasting your lives arguing for absolutely no reason in the end. Nobody gets the last say. You didn’t win the argument just because someone stopped arguing with you.
Prime example: I once was arguing in spacehey then I realized didnt want to argue anymore because I realized how stupid it all was, said “K” to end the argument and then they got so pressed they started insulting me.
This blog is purely to aid other people in their arguments because I can’t stand wanting to read a debate and then realizing everyone’s arguments suck.
So I’m going to teach you guys how to argue!
Be informed
Guys….. Don’t start talking out of your ass. If you’re debating about political leaders and your knowledge comes from tiktoks and reels, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Do some actual research before you start debating someone who probably knows more than you. And if they’re in the same boat, you both are literally just wrong and you will end up insulting each other, guaranteed.
These kinds of people generally spread misinformation as well, so it’s better if you knew what you were talking about, not just for your own sanity. If you come across an issue or debate that you are interested in, educate yourself first. Collect actually credible sources so you can use and reference in your arguments. It’s harder to refute, and if someone won't acknowledge it, they aren’t worth debating with.
Learn how to research as well. Biased information from fox news does not count as a credible source. Don’t just look up on search, click the first thing that validates your point and use that as your source.
Listen and actually understand
The amount of arguments I was in where I would bring up a point with sources and then they completely ignored my point and continued talking at me is atrocious.
If you are arguing just for the fun of it, I personally think you suck. I stereotype everyone who does this as people who attract drama and negative energy. Because ew? What is the point of a debate without listening to the other person? That's just talking at each other and will eventually end up in, you guessed it, insults!!
And yes, I have been in arguments where I went into the argument knowing my stance wasn’t going to change and wanting to prove my point. But I have managed to start listening better and been in arguments where my stance ultimately changed when I thought it wasn’t possible. For example, I have had an argument with user Dana Scully about abortion way back when. Their points did ultimately make me step back and rethink a lot of things I believed in. (Mostly because I was uninformed and also talking out of my ass but that's besides the point.) My ideals changed and I have some respect for them, even if I don’t necessarily believe in all of their political stances.
WOW PERSON ONLINE MANAGES TO CHANGE THEIR OPINIONS AND RESPECTS THE OTHER PARTY!!!! THIS IS A MOMENT IN HISTORY TAKE A PICTURE!!!
It really is unheard of I know, I don't mean to scare you guys with this otherworldly revelation but—hold my hand when I say this—you can respect people with different opinions than you!
If you can debate with a well spoken, intelligent individual and manage to keep an open mind, you can learn a lot of new things about your beliefs. Yet people on the internet would rather argue and “win” to feel good about themselves and boost their ego.
There is some nuance with this as well. Obviously when someone has the most outlandish takes like “pedophilia is ok” you have the right to not want to even listen to their argument. But trying to sit there and make them believe in what you believe in is stupid. Point blank, you don’t win against those people no matter how intelligent and well spoken you are.
So learn how to walk away.
Find common ground
You can't just argue with a Nazi and expect anything to get through to them.
What I mean is, arguing with someone who does not remotely have any morals, beliefs, or ideals similar to you will result in a nothing sandwich. And it’s not to say you can't argue with someone with different beliefs. But if there is no common ground where you both can come together and agree on this, that and the third , what eligible conclusion can you come up with? Right, nothing!
Let me give you an example:
Student A believes that the school paper needs more drama to get people to read it. Student B thinks that is a bad idea and will ruin the integrity of the paper. Student A is normally selfish and manipulative while Student B believes in kindness and karma. Despite being vastly different from each other, they both believe that the school paper needs more readers. So they use that to come up with the conclusion that being in the school paper is lame, they are both losers, and they should give up.
See? The argument went somewhere and actually amounted to something other than useless insults being thrown at each other. And if you can’t find common ground with someone, it’s better not to argue at all.
Find the issues
If you’re arguing, there’s an issue there, isn’t there? Isn’t there…? … are you arguing on social media for no reason?
Not much explanation for this one, it should be self explanatory. Don’t argue just to argue. There has to be some things of substance. If you find yourself arguing about someone's furniture decoration, take a step back and maybe go outside and touch some grass, yeah?
I hope this has given some people some insight, maybe a mirror for some people because some of you definitely need the wake up call. thanks for reading!
⏤Sincerely yours,
Kiko.
Comments
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Jammer439y8
I remember that I used to be something of a comment section warrior back in like, 2019-2020. If I saw anyone with an opinion I didn't like, I would call them out on it or even outright report them (talk about petty).
Thankfully, I have improved massively since then, and try to focus on intelligent conversation, rather than mindless back-and-forth arguments. Though, the problem I had with most of those aforementioned people were the fact that it felt like they were trying to force their opinions as the "right one" and that anyone who doesn't agree with them is wrong (which is not true). Still, doesn't make my past actions any better.
May I also add that the note about researching is so true, way too many people only believe what they see, and choose to believe misinformation rather than seek out the truth themselves.
For example, my brother recently tried to tell me that Metroid Prime 4 (a game I have no interest in) locked fast-travel behind a paid expansion. I thought that sounded stupid, so I looked it up, and it turns out, that is simply not true. The game offers no DLC other than the Switch 2 upgrade pack (which simply increases game performance and stuff if you have the Switch 1 version on the new console), and actually has a fast-travel system in-game that is completely free of charge. See what I mean, some people will believe anything.
Also, nice tom and ben news banner, I liked that game when I was younger.
>way too many people only believe what they see, and choose to believe misinformation rather than seek out the truth themselves.
This is especially getting worse because of modern social media and AI. Nobody facts check what they see, they only believe what shows up of their feed and don't question it at all.
Just today someone had posted into a discord server that open ai was going to buy pinterest. I was obviously upset by the news so I went to look it up and turns out, it was just a prediction made by some article. It wasn't fact, or true at all. Their "source" was a video on some short form app. It really upset me, and i'm still upset today because if they had dug any deeper besides reddit or the secondary source, they would have figured out it was false.
by kiko!; ; Report
Cassie
im convinced that half of the internet needs to join a debate club
Probably or perhaps they could mind their business and scroll past things they don't agree with.
by kiko!; ; Report
I think it would be actually cool
by big🍑peach; ; Report
rotten_goo
Annd this is all of the current internets problems summed up, great job....
Mike wilson music is an awesome songwriter singer on instagram who talks sense about these problems
Last Breath.
Alot of people come on here to argue,we only use it so we can engage and get people to listen to us because you gotta do that as a small band, it's like twitter kinda, just a toxic, shitty environment,the only reason we have twitter is updates.
I don't believe the soul reason for people being on here is to argue. However, I do believe blogs are a great. way to feel the need to argue.
by kiko!; ; Report
੭୧ Lee / Kat !!
PREACH
Emo_Girl:3
OMG THAT. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS BLOG. On my previous account I had a lot of political blogs. And I understand that people have different views and I actually hoped for a reasonable discussions. But most of the time the comments were just hate on me
That is to be expected lol
by kiko!; ; Report
Zigzag Buster 🇺🇦
This is the kind of approach that I would take in debates. Unfortunately, I have encountered way too many people who refuse to reciprocate the same approach back to me.
It just made me learn just don't argue with anyone
by kiko!; ; Report
Saxen
I relate to this. For me it wasn't that bad, but I did go into arguments...Just thinking about it makes me exhausted, lol. Now I don't anymore for the exact same reason, protecting my peace, but also to better myself as a person. Iv'e noticed that you yourself can also become pretty toxic when you allow yourself to stay in that world. Good thing for me is that I don't feel any urge to go into it anymore. I find myself reading comments that would usually trigger me and just scroll past it. The thing is, It's pointless to argue if the person you're arguing with isn't open for new information and not open to change their mind. It's literally just a waste of time. Another mindset that made it easy for me to stop this is that nobody's perfect. I also never enjoyed having discussions or arguments, but I went to a certain school with all students who loved having them and I got influenced by that. Happy that I found myself back.
I still have trouble not getting triggered and walking away but I'm doing good so far
by kiko!; ; Report
Clementine
Seconded
Alex
I made my account like 15 minutes ago and I already read a lot of drama in the blogs lol. But idk, I don´t want to waste my energy on that. Just wanna have some chill and happy convos, maybe finding some people to connect with that´s it.
It would be more peaceful if more people followed that advice.
I´m glad you reflected on that and try to use your energy for better stuff
my advice would be to completely ignore the top blogs, as it's relevancy is delayed and it tends to be flooded with dramatics because that's what people click on the most.
by kiko!; ; Report
★ zhuva ★
i completely agree with you. while i wasn't a comment section warrior, i still like my fair share of debating, that unfortunately turned into full blow fights. debating is fun, and can be informative, encourage our critical thinking, but most people don't get online to debate or to see a different perspective to some topic.
anger is addictive. the rage of others disagreeing with them, paired with delusions of their witty victory, makes every debate something to win, rather than something to reach a conclusion with, some tool to help them understand something better. this high of “winning” an argument doesn't last, it makes you search for more negativity to fight against, never satisfying you. then you fall into this loop of poisoning your life and thoughts because you thought negativity would satisfy you. sooner people realise that — the better.
thanks for the informative guide! it'll def help ppl who want to actually participate in debates :)
Echo chamber effect is the worst
by Clementine; ; Report
Peppii-tan
I started to scroll and realized how much longer this blog was but I just wanted to say the title is based I wonder why I'm still here when I could be deleting this account and discovering inner peace lmao
One thing I dislike about social media people is how people feel like they HAVE to state their opinion even when it's clearly going to be rude as fuck against the original poster, this also applies to people that reply to comments because roughly 60% of all my comments I've written across various sites over the years have had rude ass replies.
I personally blame the way social media is designed though heck even Spacehey designs the comments to look "persuading", don't judge me I'm too stupid to think of the correct word at the moment.
Sonny
I'm afraid the decline in people's capacity to have an actual debate has been going on for a decade and accelerated by the lockdown. However, I feel like a majority of people on here hold a superiority complex "oh yeah I'm on this nieche platform promoting the old internet" while they would probably get bullied back in the 2000's on myspace. So both combined get us to a breed of insufferable that flood the site with their arguments and problems while not wanting to hear another point of view and thinking they are better than people on twitter or reddit
Cyberbullying in general has gotten worse. Back in 2015, one or two people would harass the living daylight out of you, which is pretty bad.
Now? It's more like a cult. I got banned on quora bc multiple hate reported me
by Clementine; ; Report
Cancel Culture has been rampant
by Clementine; ; Report
bet you were defending lolicon
by ♡ jovi 🐹; ; Report
I was talking about dowry in India.
by Clementine; ; Report
jovi why is that the first thing you assume .. Is that always on your mind?
by Soriyah ⋆──⃝─⃝⃝⃝⃝──⋆; ; Report
I'm going to be completely honest Jovi; you are the biggest offender of arguing that I know on this platform. You were partially the reason I was compelled to write this blog. It doesn't even matter what you could be arguing about. It is always *you* commenting on the latest fad on Spacehey, trying to argue with someone.
You unironically became the prime example of the kind of people this blog was targeted to. Nobody mentioned lolicons. Why are you starting up something that wasn't even relevant to the conversation in the first place? Even if it pertained to an argument you two had in the past, it feels inappropriate and⏤dare I say⏤childish to bring it up in a discussion about the internet climate.
by kiko!; ; Report
no youre right, my bad. its a problem i have that im working on
by ♡ jovi 🐹; ; Report
although like. i really dont argue that much so idk how im the biggest offender 🤷♀️
by ♡ jovi 🐹; ; Report
im actually like genuinely wondering why you think im one of the worst offenders on this platform wrt arguing. the only thing i can think of (because again— i really hardly argue on here) is you saw me comment on one of two (or both) blogs: jackie's "spacehey is no place for proshippers dni", or biohaphazard's "why arent you a vegan yet?"
because i browse top blogs occasionally and comment on them sometimes, you clicked on said top blogs and saw my comments and are judging me based on that only? like... where are you seeing me argue /all the time/? please let me know, because obviously i'm sleep arguing then if i can't recall doing it All The Time the way youre saying i do. or are you reading some of my normal comments as arguing? i have this issue a lot: i think out loud and people assume i'm arguing when i'm not, i'm just trying to understand 🤷♀️
my comment to clementine in this thread was 100% unnecessary and childish though, i agree with that. i'm working on "inside thoughts". to clementine, if you see this, i'm sorry for my comment, that was completely unnecessary and frankly stupid, i can own that (i actually meant to apologize earlier but got sidetracked— i'm sorry)
but anyway rereading this blog i'm just having question marks popping up over my head because apparently i was a major reason you decided to post this but... i like do all of this? i offer sources (when it's worth it, at least), i keep an open mind, i definitely try to find common ground to work on, i step away when i get worked up and come back with a more level head... not going to try to say i'm perfect and do all of this flawlessly 100% of the time but i dunno, i must be doing something super wrong if i inspired an entire blog about how to argue ?
by ♡ jovi 🐹; ; Report
I am unironically subscribed to your blog. There are a few instances in many comment sections—even outside of yours—where I would find you debating someone or just talking on an issue. There's are instances (that I can't source right now because the memory is vague) when you would realize the person you were debating with was pretty moronic and ended up derailing the conversation into petty insults and back and forth that accomplishes nothing.
You are not *the* biggest offender, forgive me. However, you are the person I would have imagined while writing this blog.
by kiko!; ; Report
Call down. I didn't take any offense. It's quite common here to, I don't know, bring up lolicon every now and then just because I'm anti censorship. I don't want to start that argument, neither do I want to change anybody's belief system.
It still hurts a lot to be called pedo just for liking XYZ media or fictional trope. I'm not. A lot of people who engage with dark themes aren't. Please I beg you to judge people based on their actions and not their age or what they like.
As for the Jackie thing, no comments. I wasn't anything to her, but I do feel bad that spacehey is banning people simply over disagreements. That's crazy.
Also, tbh, there's a lot of dark themes that creep me out too. I simply avoid that kind of narratives. A lot of internet users would be happier if they did the same.
Anyways, you have a wonderful day. Please don't harass people on blog comments. Refrain from turning this site into twitter x
by Clementine; ; Report
yeah, like i said, i'm working on the insults thing. i have gotten much better in the past few years, it stems from trauma and having to defend myself tooth and nail, and i'm not proud of it. lately when i realize its happening, i step back, then try to find some common ground if i feel it could be worth it to try, or just leave it if not
but why are you even subscribed to my blog then, if i annoy you? genuine question. like what do you get out of it?
by ♡ jovi 🐹; ; Report
*calm down
by Clementine; ; Report
@ clementine, have a wonderful day yourself, again i'm sorry, even if it didnt affect/offend you it was still immature of me. no i definitely dont think youre a pedo just because you're anti-censorship (i'm also anti-censorship, just believe theres a time and place for such topics), and if ive ever said/implied otherwise i'm really truly sorry
by ♡ jovi 🐹; ; Report
I'm not annoyed by it, it's just something I noticed. Your bogs are incredibly entertaining and I believe all of your stances to be pretty agreeable!
by kiko!; ; Report
I deleted some of my negative blogs. Because it's hopeless. My next one would be on something cheerful and resourceful, something I really like. I'd encourage you to do the same
Hopefully the whole internet discourse thing will die out soon. We mustn't feed it
by Clementine; ; Report
okay gotcha. i love your blogs too, i learn a lot from them ^_^
by ♡ jovi 🐹; ; Report
yes! more positivity and sharing nice things is always good. like ofc its good to call attention to certain serious topics but i agree we need more Good here. less negativity and finger pointing, more connecting with each other. its so easy to forget online that nobody can show their full, true self through a screen, and everybody is so quick to judge based on a few bullet points of information. we're all human, we're all complex, and thats something i wish more people would understand (myself included, when i get into one of my moral-ocd spirals)
at least i got something out of it
this conversation has been really nice, though i'm still embarrassed and ashamed at myself for being a dumbass
by ♡ jovi 🐹; ; Report
I'm glad we sorted it out. A person who apologizes for their mistake is automatically 1000 times more awesome than a loser who is too cool for it.
I'm reading you guys' blog. Expect a few kudos
by Clementine; ; Report
<333
by ♡ jovi 🐹; ; Report
KittyLY! ˚⟡˖ ࣪
99 percent of people on social media have "its us against them" black and white thinking mentality which i really try not have and see both sides points and their perspectives, great post!
And what's crazy is right now I'm watching a philosophy video essay about self centered ness like this
by kiko!; ; Report
nicole
on my old account (i deleted it), i posted a blog titled "i'd rather get punched in the face..." and it was about me getting my teeth extracted soon. People started commenting on it (mind you GROWN ADULTS) saying that i should get my wisdom teeth removed and then talk, or things like 'i actually got punched in the face by an adult when i was 14...'
it's safe to say i apologized and deleted the blog out of fear LOL
People just like to talk just to talk it's ridiculous
by kiko!; ; Report
this omg
by nicole; ; Report
ashton
its frustrating trying to debate with someone when its obvious they see me as an opposition and they must protect their stance, instead of allowing us to both unpack our own beliefs and come out of the conservation with a new perspective
amazing blog as always :D
pocono
gonna use this next time i gotta write an essay in apush,,, i need to become a master debater. thank you moot 🫶
you can be a master debater and i can be a master baiter
by kiko!; ; Report
diva, you're getting too freaky on main i fear
by pocono; ; Report
theres no way you said master debater unironically am i just a freak < / 3
by kiko!; ; Report
MiRAGE_☆
The Tom and Ben banner absolutely ate
I especially agree on the part of learning when to walk away, sometimes you gotta realise that you're fistfighting air and you're only draining energy for someone who has their head buried in dirt. There's a difference between someone wanting to debate and someone who's shoving their opinion in other people's faces just because they want to.
yep!!
by kiko!; ; Report