Mother - Poem (TW for mentions of abuse)

The thought of my mother makes me sad

Not just what she inflicted onto me

But what was inflicted onto her

How was she to know she'd be like this

"The abused becomes the abuser"

A phrase I've been hearing a lot

There's merit to this, I know firsthand

Why else would she act the way she does

I feel wrong to hold her accountable

She's just as damaged as I am

If the circumstances were different

I'm sure she would be too

But in my mind, she's two different people

The first is the monster in my closet

The one who's damaged me so deeply

The woman who keeps me on my toes

The second, however, is my angel

My rock that keeps me sane

My darling mother that my friends love

The one who's been torn down by abusers

But even still, after all I've endured

The two sides I've seen of her

She's still the monster I know

Yet she's still the angel

My feelings are strange and confusing

A thick smog of secondhand smoke

I lose sight of my other thoughts

And all I can do is grieve

Grieve the little girl that she was

Grieve the woman that could have been

Grieve the little girl I was

Grieve the person I could've been

______

This is honestly one of my best pieces in my opinion, it's one I wrote in 2024, I don't think I could ever show it to her though.