A little bit of a life update

I was involuntarily committed to the psych ward during the first week of this month. Involuntarily! By my mother. I am so money-focused when it comes to anything medical. I'm so scared. I'm also scared I'll end up being a hypochondriac and develop Munchausen's syndrome. I'll enjoy being dependent on others when that is my biggest fear!

I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder which surprises me because although my mood can change very quickly, it doesn't last for long periods of time. The doctor there asked me if anyone I knew told me their suspicions of my having bipolar disorder, to which I told him no. I also told him that I had done research into what could be wrong with me and I didn't think bipolar was it because my phases never last for long.

I've been taking latuda every night at 8:00 pm, two of them. I struggle sleeping. My legs are so restless. Even right now at ten in the morning, they are restless. I have this urge to WALK ALLA TIME. I want peace. I rely on relaxing frequencies to go to sleep.

I made my first actual friend since having moved down to Georgia from Kentucky in late April. He's so great. I've had several men make moves on me and try to make me their boo... And I'm not even attractive by any means. A lot of them are just on the same standards as me and probably know they won't have much luck persuing prettier women. It irritates me. I just want a freaking FRIEND. I WANT FRIENDS!!!!! BOYS AND GIRLS AND ALL THOSE IN BETWEEN!

I met him at my work... I have a job at McDonald's, guys. I love how sharp he is. Other people at work make jabs at him and he always has a good comeback. He is INTELLIGENT. Last week, he was talking about how he was going to spend his Saturday watching Five Nights at Freddy's 2 with his best friend and I just sort of invited myself.

"Can I come with you guys?" Which is something I never do, but it was THE FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S MOVIE and a guy I was comfortable being around was going to watch it.

He was like, "Wait, are you serious?" And then said he'd ask his friend if it'd be okay. His friend was totally okay with it and we had an epic time at that AMC movie theater. Movie was surprisingly decent... I saw SO MANY REFERENCES which I love because you can tell TRUE AND HONEST FNAF FANS were behind it. Of course the plot is lackluster but I'm just amazed at all the hard work that went behind the scenes. I love watching the behind-the-scenes clips from the first movie, how Foxy is an actual animatronic and they had to attach straps to him and have two people move him for that three-second clip of him opening up Pirate's Cove. AWESOME!

I had to miss a week of work and I was worried that I was going to lose my job... But the doctor's note saved me. People were asking me where I've been and I was honest to a few about my being in the psych ward... But I told my friend straight up that I had been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.

I called him for the first time yesterday and we were on the phone for two hours. God, how great it is to have a friend who won't make any excess moves onto you. We shared a lot with each other during those two hours, personal stuff we wouldn't be comfortable sharing with the average Joe, people we don't know like that. Oh, and his friend is just as funny as him, I have to throw that one in. Granted, they are both seventeen and I am nineteen. Another detail I need to toss in.

The only thing I need to do is keep my private life more private at work. Because they are nosy. I told two people I was going to the movies with this kid and my manager asked me about it causally yesterday. A guy tried to make moves on me and he involved my coworkers to get my age and crap. I hate that. I hate feeling pressured to do things... Especially when it comes to romantic relationships. THAT'S NOT THE WAY TO GO, GUYS!!!!!

Yesterday, I went to the library to pick up a book from 2005 about a teenager's experience with type one bipolar disorder. A bit obsolete? Uh, yes. It's a year older than I am! But it's still a nice read, probably going to be a quick one judging on its size. I LOVE LIBRARIES, GUYS!!!!! I want my tax dollars and crap to go into funding them.

I really love SpaceHey. I'm glad it's still around, and I'm glad I'm still around to post more positive blogs :3 They are so different from what I used to post at fifteen. Jeez, my heart goes out to any fifteen-year-old who may be reading this. It's a rough age, but you'll get past this!

Bye now, people! SpaceHeyeans!