12.16.2025 - 20s and the great confusion

digital diary entry number one, i suppose.

i was originally going to post this code so it'd match my profile layout, but tbh i'm a really lazy person. if i coded mmy blog posts, i'd probably not be inclined to post at all LMAO.

someone said once that your 20s are an era of great confusion. i think i really get what they mean, laying in bed, can't seem to sleep. thoughts circle the drain and i find myself looping over and over again: why can't i choose to practice things that i want to do well? why can't i study better? why can't i be more dedicated to art? why can't i work more? why can't i manage my time more wisely?

why can't i sleep?

it's easy to feel jealous of "talent" but i know that dedication is 10x more admirable.

i want to be admirable too.

tomorrow i think i will wake up early and take some time to draw.