talk to +me

We lock eyes.

It’s like we had both seen ghosts.

We slowly turn to face each other, and approach.

-They call +my name.

-“It’s… Wow… It’s been forever.”

+“Yeah… it really has.”

-“You’re doing okay?”

+“Mhm, I’m doing alright. And you?”

-“Yeah, me too.”

A silence for a moment.

+“What’s been going on?”

-“Well, the days have been going by, but honestly not much has changed, really. I’m pretty much the same old person. And you?”

+“I’m still me, I guess. Haha.”

It’s an awkward chuckle that summarizes how we both feel.

Why did we approach each other anyways? We could never tell. It’s as though something was pulling us together. For years we had not spoken.

I asked myself if I wanted something to happen.

What would happen exactly? Would we join one another in our days, not spending one hour, one minute apart? It would probably end like it always did. We’ve played this charade endlessly. We were doomed.

The little charade we played:

We find each other, seeking.

We catch up, we come to see every stone had been left as we had laid them.

We explore this old house we left behind.

We begin chiseling our name into the other’s heart, unknowingly.

The chisels were not our hands, but instead our flowing souls finding easily the path of least resistance, and eroding therein a new place for it to rest.

We become afraid.

Our names couldn’t bear strong, everlasting fruit, after all.

No choice but to go, and leave behind but dust.

-“Don’t leave.”

+“What?...”

-“Please.”

+“But it’s hopeless, you can see that too.”

-“I understand that, I do. But at least there won’t be a drought in my heart. I’ll erase your name, just don’t go.”

+“You know that’s not how this works. With me here, we will grow nothing but prickled, sour fruits. Not you nor I will be able to enjoy them.”

-“Then we’ll take it slow?”

+“That never worked. Besides, there’s still what’s left from before. Even if you maybe could, that’s just something I can’t ever let go.”

-“It’s just… I don’t want you to go. I know I’m asking for too much. I’ve been without this for so long… and I know I willingly abandoned you many times before and I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

+“You know I don’t blame you for anything. You don’t need to apologize to me. I’m the one who should be sorry.”

-“Please… Is there nothing we can do? Anything…?”

+“This is it, my love. The end of our story. God knows there is no animosity in my heart for you. Go and find the soul who you can bear that everlasting fruit with together, in that heart of yours. I’m glad you were in my life, and I really do mean that.”

-“I know that… You don’t lie.”

+“Take care. I will never forget you.”

And I never did. After that day, they became a ghost. I chased that ghost in my sleep, letting every faint sign guide me through a maze. I would see that ghost distant, a faint sight of those happy eyes, a whisper of that genuine laugh, a fading scent of a flower bed. The further I chased, the less signs I could see, until it all disappeared completely.

For all I know, you really have become that ghost. All that is left of you are the distant echoes in the canyons carved in my heart. I hope you don’t blame me for sitting by these eroded ways, and letting the echoes carry me into the next day. You never left.