future

my bf just left :( and ive been thinking. i love my bf, and there is no other way i would have the relationship. before we first started dating, i had always known that he wanted kids in the future, to be specific HIS biological kids, and i was very clear that i probably will not want that. im down to adopt, but never anything else. ofc, were dating anyway, and when i asked about it, he said "we never know what will happen in the future, either one of us could change our minds." this is very true, but the more i think about it, the less i agree. his explanation for why he wants kids is bc when we become 40-50, there is no other purpose to life other than to eventually, settle down and watch kids grow up, wrestling in the grassy backyard, teaching them and watching them learn. i somewhat agreed with this, but i just cant imagine a life where im not allowed to travel, not allowed to do whatever i want. and even if i start wanting that, i will definitely, NEVER change my mind about giving birth, i mean pregnancy and labor type shit is hella spooky.

i dont think he would change his mind about wanting kids, i mean its something hes wanted since forever, and i dont WANT him to change his dreams because of me anyways.

he said he never wants another relationship, meaning its me or nothing for him. i cant help but feel like im limiting him, like im sure theres another girl out there somewhere that is "perfect" for him in his eyes like i am, but ALSO wants children. im sure. so idk. i cant help but feel like im holding him back from his dreams bc he "loves me" or something, when theres a plenty of fish in the sea. idk. im so torn.