i'm rotting

EDGY SHIZ COMMING UP! dont read if ur not into datO_o

I can't find it.............. I can't find a purpose to live

People keep telling that I can change and I hate it. I can't change who I am. I have to get better tho, for the sake of my friends and the people I care about. Getting better is a facade yu put on to make everybody care less about you. But everyday I rot more and mor until it escapes my soul and gets embeded onto mybody.

I thought he understood me. He did! He told me I was me! He ddidn't lookat me with disgust or tell me I was crazy or repulsive. He UNDERSTOOD. He understood dat what I felt wasn't ugly... it was human. I never would've believed anybody could ever stay by my side after knowing. But he was there... So beautiful,, he was so beautiful and perverted. Just like me, he understood because he was like me. An idiot, a disgusting piece of shit. He was dead, we both look like humans but our souls are already rotting in hell. And he made me want to continue living, liveeeee for how much while?? I wanted to be alive more than ever when I talked tohim. When I felt his love... Ahhhhh, I am captivated by him... Everywhere is hell, everywhere I can see is bothersome. Don't get me wrong I appreciate people who treat me with kindness. But they, they don't really. They treat me with kindness because I'm also kind, smart and lovely to be around. But what I am isn't what I show... I think I am disgusting. Everyone I've ever shown myself has been scared. I don't know why I am the way I am but I am me. It's not something I can change. Sure. I'll continue being kind, smart and lovely. That's the only way people won't leave, I can feel respected atleast. For being who I'm not.

But I long for someone who will understand. And for that reason I long for HIM. The only person who has ever understood me was him. I need him because I finally felt love. Love is disgusting! HHehheheh. I'm inlove! Stop telling me to stop loving because I won't! I LOVE YOU. I wish I could scream your name and tell you how much you mean to me because it is the truth. I won't change! I'm a liar! I HATE MYSELF AND I LOVE HOW YOU HATE YOURSELF TOO. I want you all to myself. I hate how others claim to love you when they haven't ever seen the real you. I hate it, it makes me want to vomit. They're equally false as everybody else. I see you... I will LIVE FOR YOU.

But why did you tell me to change

You knew and you understood... Yet you? You want to change. Why? Pervert! PERVERT! I want you!!! Not that stupid false guy you are trying to be! IDIOT, FOOL! YOU ARE FALLING FOR STUPID LIES THAT WON'T GET YOU ANYWHERE! What will you gain?? To be dead and in heaven?? Heaven is worse than hell! You will die again and again and again, yet you still hope to live? Why? Are you stupid! This is what you long for. ME! Someone who understands! Stop running away. I am not scary... I need you to continue living... Lets be perverts together. Normal people suck ass

I won't ever change.
When I find you. I will kill you so your body can finally die.


You wanted to die I know of it. "I would've killed myself when you told me so, but I felt bad for my mom, I'm the only thing she has." Living for others is cute. Everyday I find you cuter and cuter... You will die for me? Ahhhhh just thinking about it makes my dick wet.

I wanna die together