I ran intro my old middle school crush at the library after years.

I'm currently at the law library studying for my exams, but I can't help telling you how I feel.

Right now, I'm going through a really shitty time. My paternal grandfather passed away, as did my dog, who I've had since I was four years old. And now, a week ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of four and a half years relationship. I feel like I'm a Sims character that you mistreat for no reason because you're bored. 

Nothing exciting is happening in my life except misfortune. I have a shitty routine: I go to lectures, take notes, go to the library to do my exercises, and go home to review the lessons I had that day. But today, I feel like my ex-boyfriend's karma is coming back to bite him. One day, I'll tell you about my breakup and my relationship, but it's too “fresh” right now, and I might not be very objective. 

I was trying to pretend to study so I wouldn't feel so guilty about the exams coming up on Thursday and Friday when someone who looked familiar walked into the room. I squinted hard when I saw him smiling at me (damn girl, why don't you wear glasses? You look like Ice Cube in the movies when he's always looking angry, or The Rock when he raises an eyebrow). 

Anyway, I recognized his face and we started talking. It's crazy, but I hadn't seen anyone smile at me in a long time. In recent months, my ex-boyfriend really seemed to have fallen out of love with me. It must have been hard for him to hide it from me... (I'll talk about that another time). 

I talk to "L" and he tells me a little about how he's doing. He's switching to medicine after studying economics. For those who aren't French, you have to understand that in our country, people get degrees in fields that are too saturated. Even my field isn't secure, just because law is very difficult, but people in psychology and economics don't have jobs even after a master's degree. This country really sucks. 

I think it's cool that he dares to change direction, especially since he's older than me and our parents don't understand that you can be indecisive in your twenties. I don't see it negatively. I repeated a year for very little, and it has brought me a lot in my professional and personal life. I don't regret that choice. 

Apart from all that, I'm telling you about him because he was my crush in middle school, so the fact that he recognized me made quite an impression on me. I even learned how to skateboard to get closer to him (at least now I know how to do it lol). One day, a friend said that I liked him and they all made fun of me. I was hurt, of course, and I stopped talking to him, but one day I was in the library studying for my exams, and he sat down in front of me and started talking to me. I guess in relationships you can have a “reset” button... it's kind of funny. 

I'm not saying I have feelings for him, but it made me laugh to see someone I secretly liked a little bit, it reminded me of my middle school years. It's cool that he's become more mature in his behavior and his personal life. I wish him happiness in his life. (I was scared abt writing because he is near of me but if I don't write I was going to forget)