Through it all, I think of you

Here I am, up in space

You wouldn’t like it here

You wouldn’t like me right now

I always said “when you leave”

When you find me washed ashore, before you ask how long I’ve been at sea, just revel in the fact that im still your boy.

I wish that all the things they said about me, were handwritten so that I could cut, burn, tattoo and brand them into me with the accuracy of every pen stroke, just so that they could recognize their handwriting and know that they won.

There are things I will, and things I will not do and through them all, I think of you.

I’m not dying but im certainly not alive. I simply am not, I do not. I do not exist. I am a fable of a man hiding in his moving castle, luring anyone in, just to feed on their souls and bones, hoping they fill a void.

I have small victories and large losses just begging to reach your ears.

Just wait for the withdrawals to subside, I never was as shiny as you thought, and I’m certainly not now, but time will tell.

Do me a favor and stop pretending. Not to me but to them. Show them your misery and don’t let up until you feel better or they accept that there are no quick fixes.

I wish I could say more but im dying to be a memory and im praying to be a good one.