I hate bdays

so today is my 22nd bday and idk what to do im spending it with my fam tbh I dont really like to celebrate my bday at all idk why but I like to celebrate other peoples bday like the feeling when people sing happy bday to you its a weird feeling my nerves feel up to my neck and just sitting there is not a good feeling I feel like I dont deserve it in a way idk I just dont like celebrating my bday