A story of rage and fire, signed, a burnt out candle

When I was younger, I was filled with emotion. Emotion controlled my life for years, whether it be joy or grief, guilt or pride, shame or humiliation, the feelings within me always controlled how I acted. Emotion, for the majority of my existence, was the source of many of my decisions, both good and bad. However, there was always one group of emotions that took precedence over the others. Rage, anger, resentment, and all akin emotions took charge of a greater part of my actions. I recall times where I'd feel so angry at something or someone that I couldn't breathe. I had always wanted to pick fights with those who had irritated me, and there were occasions where I had, but more often than not, the anger within me twisted and turned so much that there was nothing that I could do. The only choice I had was to curl up on the ground in the darkest, most well hidden corner I could find, and cry. From some of my earliest memories all the way up to the end of the first semester of my sophomore year of high school, this is how I lived. I always told myself that the people who angered me where undoubtedly wrong, and their actions and interests opposed mine and I had to stand up for myself. I always thought my anger was justified, and the actions I had done out of blind rage were just as valid as how I felt. I had always lived a life of believing that those who acted "injustices" towards me deserved to be punished, and I deserved my revenge against them. I had let the dragon of rage and resentment build it's den within my mind. That dragon of flame, for a while, had become my very soul.

I've learned to put that dragon to sleep. I had realized the error of my ways. I used my anger as an excuse to be cruel to those around me. I thought the flame within me was what was keeping me alive, but I only used it to burn those who were close to me. While I had believed that my anger would be the solution to my life's problems, it only caused me to make more for myself. I had become angry with a lot of people simply because I thought they were acting in ways they shouldn't have. I always looked down on people because I saw my actions as wiser and superior to theirs. I had let my pride and arrogance cloud my mind for years, to the point that I had lost my true self. My greatest mistakes, had always come from thinking I could use my anger to protect those whom I cared for. I tried to stand up for those who couldn't, but all I did was hurt everyone involved. I no longer allow my emotions to control me. Since I've learned how to prevent my emotions from dictating my actions, I've been able to better not only myself, but also those around me. Rather than resorting to violence to "solve" my problems, I now resolve issues in peaceful ways that hurt nobody and can even help others without damaging them or myself.

So this is a message to all those spitfires out there who have let their anger control them. You have every right to feel the way you feel. Your anger is completely reasonable and there's nobody who should tell you otherwise. But take it from someone who's flame burned until the wick ran out; if you let your anger control you and blind you, no good will come of it. Whatever happens, happens and there is nothing you can do to change the past, but you can control how you react to it and how you let it affect you. Don't let your fire burn the people you care about.

- HXDES