I HATE EVERYONE

I'm sick of people. They're all disgusting. After years of attempting to talk, to try to make friends, I've had no success.

Being human is something which doesn't come naturally, I can't understand all these rules, all these behaviours, they perplex me, leaving each interaction I have a bitter, embarrassing mistake as I fail to act as required. The moment anyone talks to me, interacts with me, they must be repulsed, repulsed by the fact that I am a defective person. What is a person but a part of a group, being people? If you can't work within the group, you are no longer a person, no longer a human.
All I ever wanted was to be someone's favourite person, to not be the side character in the sitcom who the main cast dislike but the writers keep in as it amuses them. No one truly loves me, I'm never the best friend, I'm never their favourite. I strongly desire to be needed, all I want is to be wanted, yet all I face, all I experience, is such rejection. All people want me for is to ridicule me, by keeping me to the side they can jeer and laugh at me, tricking me into believing we're friends whilst maintaining a strong enough distance that outsiders will know that in truth we aren't affiliated, that they aren't associated with such trash as myself. To them I am nothing more than a cockroach, utter scum which they feel disgusted and repelled by, but they keep me around, because nothing is more entertaining to them than the vermin which believes that it too is a person, deserving of any respect. I am nothing more than a comic, who's greatest joke is himself and not aware that he is performing.
I try to hide myself, I try to pretend to not be vermin, I attempt a mask, but I know that the moment it's lifted the laughing will start again, as the crowd looks in disgust. I try to embrace being the comedian and yet it hurts, my existence being nothing more than a joke hurts, both the mask and "being myself" hurts, it decays me, the walls continue to crumble and one day I'll fall without the possibility of being rebuilt.

And who are the crowd, who are the lovely spectators who use me for their benefit, their entertainment? Humanity, this vile species, is comprised of nothing but hypocrites, morons, sad excuses for life forms. They have nothing to them, shallow husks of meat (which can't even be eaten, so they're absolutely useless in that regard as well), tell me, is this world not comprised of NPCs? Thoughtless, blank machines who contribute nothing to this foul wreck we call earth.

I had everything. I was deemed as highly intelligent, artistically talented, humorous, I could at least somewhat entertain others, but my inability of even being human and utter disgust for people has slowly broken me. They've destroyed me, yet they blame me for being destroyed.

All I wanted was to be loved and needed, yet it seems I was asking for too much. Fuck everyone.