Life can truly be overwhelming, can't it?
I live at home at the moment. I moved to a different town 3 years ago, but had to move back due to studies. I live with my parents, we have a good but a somewhat strained relationship and it's exhausting.
Sure I get to live home, and my parents seem happy to have one of the kids back home. But i'm soon 25. I've lived on my own for a couple of years and having to adapt to my parents is tiring. Especially since they sometimes forget I'm an adult and not their 16 year old kid anymore.
My mother is... sensitive. In simple terms I'd say shes Lawful Good with anxiety and a constant need for control. When I was a teen I thought it was normal, but after spending time alone it seem that she is... not an ideal mother. That's according to my old therapist (who to be fair had some intense Freudian theories about my childhood) and my friends. Anyhow. Soon after New Years I was supposed to have an internship, but due to the lovely pandemic we are suffering in it got cancelled.
I spoke to my parents about it, just ranting. She offered to help since she have an old childhood friend in the industry and I said that unless she could get me a new internship within 4 days then I'm better off.
She still spoke to her friend, who a couple of weeks later sent me a text to a buddy of his that could help.
I didnt answer this text.
I know I should've. I know. But when I got this text it was maybe 1.5 week left on the intended internship period, and I didn't see a point to it. So i didn't answer. I didn't think more of it.
This week my dear mother calls me and informs me I majorly fucked up and that I ruined her friendship with this guy. Her childhood friend now hates me because I didnt text his buddy regarding the internship I didnt ask for.
I promise to write him, and speak to my father about it.
What has happened basically is that she have completely misunderstood me, she has told her childhood friend that I'm super interested in this area (which im not so there is that), and really groveled to him to get him to help me. And when I didn't answer he found it disrespectful and is now mad at my mother so I have to ask for forgiveness.
Yeah I wasn't too happy about it. At all.
Sure I can own up to that I should've texted that guy and politely declined, but how the hell was I supposed to know that my mother had promised a bunch of stuff without telling me?
So I sent a text to my moms friend and an email to the intern-guy and they both replied something along the lines of
"Oh thats not worries! let us know if it becomes relevant with an internship again and we will try to help :)"
So mom have either lied, or overreacted. Again. Put me in a shitty situation where these 2 guys think I'm rude and ungrateful. All because she don't listen, and can't take critique. It's exhausting.
I'm upset with her, but I can't tell her that because she is so obsessed with what people around her think she will have a meltdown. Not only does she care what people think, but she can't accept that she is wrong.
Currently she is working in a different city between monday and thursday every week, and as soon she gets home she starts nagging at my dad on everything he haven't done, or everything he have done wrong.
How do you tell someone who is self absorbed with a shitty self image and low self esteem that what she is doing is shitty without her deflecting or falling into self loathing? Is it possible to do so when you live with the person? Sometimes it truly don't feel like it.
Lol i read through this text, and it looks like something that would be said at 3am in the morning on the way home from a house party. God I miss house parties. Jeez.
xoxo toto
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