(Yourfuckeduplittlenerd #1)

Oh God. I shouldn't be as needy as I am when it comes to talking to him, I want to be a respectful and I want to come off as kind and funny and interesting to him yeah I'm over here thinking about him beating me half to death. About him carving things into me. We only have called once yet his voice is ringing in my headddddd. One of the pictures that he showed me of him when I look at it all I can think about is his hands. How it would feel having his hands wrapped around my neck as I pass out. I shouldn't be thinking these things, I know I shouldn't be thinking these things it's crazy that I am and I feel bad about it. He's a really good friend and I don't want to ruin things because I'm thinking about him ruining me. Of which he would have complete permission to. God I'm doomedddd I stare at my phone like a puppy waiting for him to text me, I'm patiently an impatient all at once and it's driving me insane. Maybe he would think I'm insane. God I'd be honestly happy with him thinking me as anything. I think I need to be put down lolz