Why is being an artist so fcking hard???

I started drawing since i was three because i love cartoons and anime so much. Drawing has been one of my top list activity. I know deep in my heart that i was meant to be an artist. I was meant to make art. And i was meant to be a star by being an artist. But for the past maybe 4 years, i've become more and more distance from art. Maybe i still do make art through fashion, but then that's it. I have a whole art account dedicated to my drawings and ocs, but i barely manage to be online and post regularly unlike my mutuals. I feel so ashamed and i feel like i'm not a real artist. Drawing feels like a heavy chore now even tho it's supposed to be my favorite activity. I keep blaming it on my depression, but what if it's because i'm just being lazy??? I feel so useless without my arts because that's the only thing i'm good at and i don't wanna let it go😞 i'm so mad at myself rn