why evangelion holds such a dear place in my heart

i am probably not the first and definately not the last person to feel like this. i dont even know why i am writing this entry, i just wanted to share my feelings with someone, although it might just look like glazing of the anime. but whatever, it deserves glazing anyways!

i started watching it when i was strongly sick, a few months ago. i chose it out of complete coincidence - i was scrolling netflix to find something to watch, and gured out that sometime in the past, ive watched the first few episodes of the anime, so i decided to continue (best decision of my life)!

the time i chose to watch it was, again, by coincidence, really good, since i had recently lost a person close to me, and i was struggling (at least more than now) generally, resulting in the anime being far more emotionally impactful than if i had watched it a few months earlier or later. what also added to the intensity is, since i was sick, i bingewatched the whole thing. at times, it broke me so much that i was not sure if i am ready to continue watching lol

as for the show's characters. the show made me a huge rei fan, since i see myself in her, and strongly so. it is quite sad that anno, the writer neglected the character's development so much, but at the same time it added to the identity of her. as for the other characters, during the whole watchtime, asuka annoyed me like any other character has not annoyed me. i cannot fathom how there is a huge fanbase of her.

for the plot, it is really enjoyable. the pacing, the cliffhangers in the last series of movies were really perfect to me. one of the movies (wont spoil) ended in such a perfect moment, paired with such a perfect song, that i genuinely cried, and i dont remember cring so purely ever i think. ah, the soundtrack. the sound of the music that was chosen, in my opinion, fits really well, since the 'childish' sound pairs perfectly with the heavy emotionally and psychologically themes, creating a beautiful, bitersweet contrast.

i wish i could watch the whole anime again for the first time. probably the most beautiful thing ive ever seen.