recluse banter

I think im cursed. It seems silly for someone who is completly absent of religion to belive in something as ficticious of a curse but im starting to entertain the idea. Its lots of things, im cursed to have my plans fall through, to miss whats important, to be left out, to be misunderstood, to be alone, to be absent, to be too much, too fast, too full of love. I have cried over the simple fact that there will never be a person with as much love as me on this planet. How could someone love as much as me, not just love other peopl but love life. I love the way the sun moves and warps, i love the way mind can slightly russel the things around it or uproot it and toss it into what isnt known to it, i love the way the sidewalk cracks in the corners, i love the soft glow of the moon and how it bounces off his face, i love the trees and how they create abstract shapes on the ground when light shines through it and how the branches are reaching out for more life, i love the warmness of a blanket in the morning and the contrast of the cold room, i love the chip in my favorite mug and the cracks in my dishes, i love my dirty window and my full window seal, i love my shitty phone and my bad camera, i love the process of getting ready and getting unready hours later, i love pointless conversation, i love the arrow of time, but most of all i love her