random yearning blog #1

THIS WAS LIKE... FROM A YEAR AGO BUT THE YEARNING AND REGRET IS REAL SO HERE COMES BLOGGING ABOUT IT

We’re using codenames btw: Bear and Lizard.

So anyways, my friends set up this hangout so I could finally meet Bear. Lizard came along too, and it was already weird because like… I liked Bear, and Lizard liked me. So the whole day was basically one big unintentional love triangle that I didn’t sign up for.  Ice skating happens, and Bear and i was practically with each other the entire time cuz lowkey none of u knew how to properly skate. yk like matching my pace, holding onto me, making sure I didn’t just collapse and die on the ice. Nothing dramatic, just very normal i guess.

Meanwhile Lizard was off on his own blasting Joji like his life was a sad indie film.
And he straight up told me after,
“I was listening to sad songs while watching you guys be touchy with each other.”
OKAY BRO LIVE YOUR OWN MUSIC VIDEO IDK

Then AFTER skating, while we were all walking, that’s when Lizard started doing his little “I’m better than Bear” side quest.
Asking me weird questions like who’s taller, who looks better, who I’d pick, stuff like that.
Trying so hard to make himself look like the prize, and I’m literally over here trying not to laugh because it was so obvious.
Meanwhile I’m just silently crushing on Bear like a normal person.

Then we eventually ended up at the beach side, and somewhere along the way me and Bear accidentally got separated from everyone else. My friends just disappeared like NPCs despawning.
So me and Bear ended up sitting on that fake grass, just talking about random stuff. Nothing crazy, nothing deep, just a comfortable vibe that kinda sticks with you longer than it should.

Then finally after running out of topics to talk about, we found the others sitting on that barrier thing you can sit on, and Lizard was literally staring into the sunset with his earphones still blasting sad songs like he was filming the final scene of his heartbreak arc 😭 I was losing it SOBBB KMS

Anyway, Bear wanted to take me to lunch after if he got into the college he wanted to be in, but everything went to hell schedule wise, everyone got busy, everything got messy… and I, being the idiot that I am, got desperate.

So I gave Lizard a chance.
And that went BAD.
Not like “oops wrong choice” bad, I mean Lizard was actually just a terrible guy.
Bad person, bad boyfriend, bad everything.
Like full incel energy, the kind that sucks the life out of every room.

Now i miss having that chance with Bear, we literally just hang out for that one day but bro got a hold of my brain thats crazy, im gonna jump off ( im not ), idk maybe im crazy, maybe im just mad i gave Lizard a chance and fucked my life up a bit.