Why Do I Still Think About you?

I should be over you by now. But I'm not. You still live in the back of my mind and I often see things that remind me of you. It's so silly, we weren't even a thing a my brain is acting like it was some long time thing that ended abruptly. Although I suppose the ending abruptly part is somewhat true.

I'm with someone now, she's the one I love, and you should be irrelevant, just a memory that's only occasionally thought about. Why are you more than that??? Why is it that no matter what's happening in my life, your haunting my mind.

I remember the day we met. Everyone was saying you were an asshole and I could see why, but you seemed to be so much nicer to me than the others. And when I was going to leave, you pleaded for me to stay, and I did. We drank at your house with the others, but we were only really interacting with each other. We had just met, but you opened up to me so much, told me so much about yourself all the fucked up things in your life. And I did too.

Was there something between us? I thought there was. You were so much nicer to me, you opened up to me so quickly, I slept in your bed, you wore my hoodie, you always seemed so happy to see me.

I've never been good at this kind of stuff, always too nervous to say anything. But I was getting ready to, and felt so close to being able to saying it. Then you said you weren't looking for a relationship. That's not a problem, I respected that, I made peace with being friends. 

But you lied. You got with some guy either right before or right after you said that. I don't know which is worse. And you called him "a friend" when I met him. I don't even get why. I'm not trying to diss the guy, but you would normally be constantly pissed off by people like him, so why's he different?

Even if we're just friends, I still want to see you. But clearly you don't. leaving me on read, seemingly having something happen every week so you can't go out on specifically tuesday. Every single week for the past two months. Why'd you switch up on me like that? I really thought we had something.

Should I say something? Tell you how I feel? How you're tearing my conscience in two?

Just get out of my head already