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I feel angry all the time. Yes, you can see me smiling like an idiot, but the truth is I feel angry all the time. I can't escape from this angry feeling. I'm always angry. I'm furious with people. I'm angry about the world. I always feel the anger that comes from deep inside me.
When I watched Kimetsu no Yaiba... I felt so connected with Shinobu. I was not a fan of her, but the last movie... she really opened my eyes. When she said ''yes, Tanjiro... I'm angry. I've always been angry....'' to Tanjiro, I realized that I'm actually very angry all the time too.
I know the reason why I'm like this. I know the source of anger.
This anger makes me go on... this anger may give me the passion. Yes, this anger keeps me alive. Sometimes I love this anger... Sometimes I became even more furious. There are some days when even I couldn't recognize myself. I have a strange relationship with this anger. This anger changes me. I don't know if it's in a good or bad way, but I just can sense that it changes me. Do I wanna change? I'm not sure. Do I wanna stay like that? I don't know. I don't know anything at this point. Maybe I do know, but I can't be honest with myself.
Do you guys feel the same way as I do?
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Keerfloey
No, at least me. I usually feel relaxed and determined, although of course sometimes I feel anger, but, it's kinda rare, and just like you, I tend to mask it.
I hope your anger isn't something draining, destructive or blinding, and, welp, overall not a "I wanna hurt someone/myself rahh" anger, y'know?? I also hope you have moments of peace and happiness at least (･ัω･ั)
Thank you so much! And no, I always hurt myself instead :( I could never hurt someone physically or emotionally ... I hate that I'm always kind to people even though they are not nice to me... My hatefulness or anger only hurts me... Thank you, I hope I will be relaxed someday too<3 <3
by onekaizoku; ; Report
And yes, there are times I'm happy. I try my best to keep myself entertained. :)))
by onekaizoku; ; Report
Yw and I'm glad you have happy moments!!
I understand that feeling of being nice even though people aren't always nice to you, it has happened to me a lot... But, y'know, in a world full of hate, sometimes small gestures of kindness can be great acts of humanity, and grateful people will always appreciate them <33
Sooo, take care!!! :D
by Keerfloey; ; Report
Yes, u r right... :^ thank you!<33
by onekaizoku; ; Report