The FNAF 2 Movie Has Brought Me To Tears, And Continues To Do So (i want to be a father, someday)

!!FNAF 2 MOVIE SPOILER WARNING!!

Recently I have been pondering on the children I so hope to have someday. The thought of holding my child for the first time, I seriously wonder what I'll feel. I want to imagine it'll be nothing but positive emotions, but I'm certain I'll feel nervous to some capacity. I seriously hope that someday I am blessed with the opportunity to have a child with someone, and to raise that child lovingly. 

I have especially been caught on this devastated feeling of wanting to protect my future children. The thought of any of them ever getting hurt or being hurt by the world scares me. I know that as I've had problems with my parents, my children are going to have problems with me. And honestly, that breaks my heart.

As a bee depends on flowers for nourishment, as a cub relies on mama bear for protection, and as we rely on our God for guidance, I hope to be Christ-like in the way I lead, protect, and guide my children. 

I want to have a son and a daughter, and I hope to name them Hosea and Rebecca. I want to love my children, and protect them and guide them. I want to help them to love God and to follow their dreams. I want to be for them what my uncle has been for me. I want to show them that life really isn't about status with your friends, church, or family. But, what you want to make of it. 

In the beginning of the film, we are introduced to a character named Charolette. She sees William Afton in his iconic yellow rabbit suit lure a child to the back of the restaurant. She goes to many adults, pleading for help. Yet, no one listens to her. So, she takes it upon herself to go help this boy. She manages to get him away from Afton, but not before getting stabbed in the back three times. She drops to her knees on the stage where the marionette comes out, still holding the boy. He regains consciousness, runs to his parents, and the restaurant just looks at Charolette in disbelief. Enraged and in great pain, she screams at the patrons. At the top of her lungs, with such pain and sadness, she screams. 

A couple days ago I was going to take a shower, and this scene replayed in my head. Honestly, the thought of having a child like me, burdened to help others, only to be ignored by her elders broke my heart. To be there, only to be hurt, KILLED even, just got me so emotional. She needed to be seen, she needed to be heard. Heck, she felt socially shut out of the party she was at the restaurant for! Her father, Henry Emily, was heartbroken for her in the movie too.

I just hope that if I am so lucky to have a child, that when they do go through rough times, myself, or their mother, or someone can be there for them. The thought of having a child feel helpless, ignored and alone hurts so much. I love my children and I don't even know them yet.