INSOMNIA

sigh… I look in the mirror hoping for a smile, even a crooked one.
I’m tired… what am I doing wrong?
If I’m honest, I don’t have any excuses left, though I do have many reasons to want to be myself again.
I’m addicted to the past and terrified of the future.
But in the present… it’s different.
I told you I was fine, but yesterday I relapsed.
I didn’t eat and I slept even less.
Or maybe I still haven’t woken up.

Anxiety is silent on the outside, but it screams loudly on the inside.
Loneliness looks bright on the outside, but it’s empty on the inside.

I love sleeping; my life has the habit of falling apart every time I’m awake.
Do you understand me?

The only thing keeping me alive is the smile you once had
(a note to my past self).
And well… what can I say?
I just keep going… until my last breath.