Finished University a month ago

A lot has just changed for me very quickly.

I am officially a graduate and whilst I am proud of myself and I think about how lucky I am to be in a situation where I was able to get a degree in the first place, I still will never shake the feeling of "I should've worked harder". Simply because there were people in my class that were better academically than myself.

I've only not just started drawing again after going on a huge hiatus, and while I know I needed the break, I feel guilty for having one that lasted so long. My head feels fried and it's difficult to feel like myself again after such a huge life-changing moment. I think I just regret not having appreciated being in the moment. I made so many friends that I'll probably never see again and that upsets me deeply.

The next port of call for me is finding a big-girl job, and yes, I do already have one... But it's only part time and I'm ready for something new. My biggest fear, however, is being stuck in a job I loath and having to stay there because of convenience. How miserable that sounds.

I want to travel, and I want to make new experiences, so I'm stuck between saving for a place to rent and expenses for travelling... With everything happening in the world it's quite hard to save for both. But I don't want to stay at my family home for much longer now I'm officially a 21 year old with a degree. But who knows, I might stay home for a few more years while I try and figure everything out for myself, and vent into the void of spacehey while I do. 

I hope there are people out there who feel the same as me right now. Best of luck to us lmao

pepper xx