But I'm A Cheerleader

Jamie Babbit is generally recognized as one of the most prominent directors of recent times, having produced several series and films such as The L Word, D.E.B.S., Itty Bitty Titty Committee and several others, however her most beloved work was made in 1999. Characterized by its extravagant color palettes, funny dialogue and charming characters, her movie's message at the time became shocking, not only to the general public, but specifically to queer audiences, who have not been represented in the media in the way in which they deserve, let alone conveying content that ends in a happy ending. The lesbian film But I'm a Cheerleader demonstrates through its visuals and dialogue how society glorifies heteronormative binarism and how nonconformity can harm marginalized and non-marginalized groups in different, but still impactful, ways.

From the beginning, our protagonist Megan is presented as the living stereotype of what happens when you put the words "blonde," "female" and "cheerleader" together. This type of character is commonly referred to as Hair of Gold, and as TVTropes defines it, "Therefore, obviously, she is young, beautiful, pure, kind, and innocent" ("Hair of Gold"). This means she is a bubbly, with feminine-bimbo features, and as a good protagonist, the first scene in which we are shown how she interacts with her environment is when she is part of a cheerleading routine, except for fact that the camera places a lot of emphasis on parts of the female body, such as the bust, legs and hips, immediately placing the viewer in Megan's perspective.

Normally, one would expect her to be the popular character loved and idolized by everyone, as in typical American movies, but from the beginning there is no indication that this is the case. We are shown that Megan is quite reserved, and that she really only has one or two friends in her social circle, plus a boyfriend who doesn't seem to like her very much, after all, there is physical contact between them, but no intimacy, as she seems bored and disinterested, her mind wandering on what was seen at the start: the bodies of her fellow cheerleaders. As viewers, it would be possible to guess what's going on at this point with Megan's sexuality, but she doesn't seem to understand it all, at times questioning herself and her loved ones as to why she feels so disconnected from her male partner.

Throughout these scenes, and shortly before she goes to the conversion group, each and every thing around her is dressed in different shades of brown and beige, colors known to be muted and dull, perhaps reflecting how she is repressed by her environment and unable to be honest in wanting to explore who she is and what she wants. Megan, on the other hand, is not wearing any of those colors, instead opting for a bright orange and white uniform, a design decision that makes her stand out from the background. That is, until she arrives at the place where conversion therapy is performed.

As soon as she enters the house, Megan is assigned a gray suit, suggesting perhaps, as it were, that it is a transitional step between one extreme and the other, between where she is coming from and where she is going to stay. Once the step is completed, she is given a uniform equal to that of the other female members of the group, finally forming part of the division of gender binarism presented in the movie.

From the very first moment the division is promoted, insisting that pink represents women, femininity and submission, while blue represents men, masculinity and strength. With this in mind, it is notable that the movie uses these colors to point out the absurdity of gender roles, as their garish and exaggeratedly bright tones reinforce the stifling atmosphere of being part of expected social roles, which can sometimes be performative. An instance of this is when the director of the therapy group is shown arranging fake flowers in the front garden of the house, supporting the idea that everything in the place, even small details like the flowers, are fake. This stands out because subtly, and not so subtly, it is a piece of a much larger scheme of imposed ideologies, in this case by an authority figure such as the director.

Throughout the film it becomes clear the theme about how heteronormativity is false, and that it is really a performative art. To give an example of this case is when the female character and love interest, Graham, is against conversion therapy, showing a lack of participation in various activities presented that reinforce conformity and the social roles assigned by therapy. This scenario is what many people respond to when confronted with something they do not associate with, in respect of Graham it comes to her identity, as her refusal to conform is a defensive mechanism in the face of a threat, being the group home he finds herself in. Instead, Megan, like several of her peers, tries to conform to that environment as doing so would bring her closer to heterosexuality, and her dialogue implies that this is because Megan, being determined to be reunited with her family and loved ones, conforms to what she is told is the only way to get out of that place once and for all.

Despite the oppressive and rather limiting environment, Megan manages to find support in a community of people like herself when accepting, even a little, her sexuality. A contrast of colors is created with the rest of the film when they escape one night from a gay bar, since it is highlighted that binarism and roles are blurred and even questioned, both in the clothing of the people inside the place, mainly in black tones, and in the atmosphere of the place, deprived of natural light. It is then that each decides to explore their own sexuality independently of the other, but it does not turn out as expected.

Megan relates to a girl with her same characteristics, perhaps this detail suggests a parallel of herself as seen in the eyes of others, with her blonde hair, bubbly personality and animated smile. Graham does something similar with a girl resembling herself, and as soon as Megan realizes this, she decides to take a breath and process her feelings out of the place. Feelings of anger, doubt, frustration for not being able to do anything but see the girl he likes being with someone else. The environment is painted with neon lights, highlighting the color red, which commonly signifies love, anger, frustration and desire, probably illustrating Megan's repressed feelings as she faces the reality of who she is, and what she wants. It is one thing to know who you are and quite another to act to be who you are. Considering that at no time in her life, up to that point, had she seriously considered seeing a woman in that way, her eagerness to repress herself by not wanting to face the consequences of her feelings for fear of what it might entail is understandable. In the end, both teenagers kiss and come clean with each other.

However, this sincerity does not last long. It is discovered that they went out to a gay club and the director searches for who they have been, being on the lookout for Graham, her suspicions are corrected as she accepts Graham's lie that she was in love with a boy, finally accepting the heterosexual path which is the opposite of what she initially preached. To learn more, the director arranges an interview with each of the group members and their families. They are seated at a table, three on one side, and the suspect on the other, alone. This creates isolation towards the person, in this case Megan, who denies any involvement, and to please her family, comments that she misses her old life, especially her boyfriend, Jared. Although it is not true, this leads to conformism in the face of external pressure, even more so if it is linked to the expectations of loved ones, and really in the end, human beings tend to be social beings, which often makes us want to avoid being different and comply in order to have a support system.

Megan's loved ones suspect she is a lesbian, and agree that she should be taken to a place called "True Directions" where conversion therapy is given. Their arguments, though based on stereotypes, are as follows: her insistence on including tofu in her family diet, having posters of women and not men, being a vegetarian and that she doesn't like kissing her boyfriend. All of the above is what, in their eyes, would not make her what they consider a heterosexual girl. To correct her sexuality, the program has five steps, and each focuses on different aspects of identity.

1. Admiting you are homosexual. “I am not perverted. I get good grades, I go to church, I'm a cheerleader!” This phrase is uttered by our protagonist when questioned about her sexuality, but with the help of the other members of the group, Megan comes to realize that contrary to what she believed at first, she is indeed homosexual. Instead of being a moment of relief, it becomes emotional and heartbreaking as the theme of normalcy and the immediate need to be seen as normal and fit in to be part of society becomes obvious, almost desperate as she cries.

2. Rediscovering your gender identity. In this step gender roles are reinforced, whether it is vacuuming, wearing wedding dresses and makeup for the girls, or fixing cars, chopping wood and using guns for the boys. The group talks about their "root" that is, the moment when they stopped "being" heterosexual. Graham offers, "My mother married pants," while others say things like "I was born in France" and "I went to an all-girls school." Moreover, it is also at this point that the step focuses on the performance of "gender-affirming" activities, i.e., changing plastic baby diapers, mopping the floor, and vacuuming for the women. Meanwhile, the men do things to prove their masculinity, such as fixing a car and chopping firewood. If one looks closely at both scenes, the surrounding of each group is made of plastic and cardboard in bright colors, hinting perhaps at the falsity not only of their actions, but also of the environment in which they are practiced.

3. Family therapy. In this step, as the name indicates, the communication from individual to family regarding their sexuality is brought to light, the problem here is that they seek to cure the person, not to accept or support, like Graham's parents, who act hostile towards their daughter and other people for not fitting into what they consider "normal", because the only way their daughter will be accepted would be when she graduates from conversion therapy and becomes heterosexual. Compared to the other parents in the group, who although they share the same goal of straightening of their children, they are quite harsh to their daughter, threatening that if she does not control her homosexual urges, she will not be given financial and academic support. Quoting Chris Tompkins' article for Learning For Justice on Why Heteronormativity Is Harmful “For LGBT youth in the closet, it isn’t possible to be vulnerable without first feeling safe.” And as shown, Graham is not safe. Rebelling and being herself in the environment she finds herself in brings great consequences to her person, not everyone has the privilege of having a social circle that supports and accepts them the way they are.

4. Demystifying the opposite sex. By now, Megan and Graham are spending more time together and are in what one might assume to be a casual romantic relationship, talking and getting to know each other better, each slowly opening up about their lives, but it is then that Megan reflects on her loved ones and their apparent good intentions for her. After failing to get satisfactory answers as to who had escaped to the gay bar, the manager organizes an anti-gay protest, complete with banners and chants in support of the vision. Graham, who actively participates, rudely attacks a man and, when confronted by Megan, justifies herself by saying it is in self-defense, as the idea of being outed does not appeal to her. Graham continues the heterosexual façade, supporting the idea of performativism and social conformity.

One of the most remarkable scenes in the film is when Graham decides to pursue conversion therapy, while Megan manages to take refuge in another place as she tries to adjust to the future that awaits her, without friends, without family and without Graham. Staying at a friend's house who also left the group, the two settle into a small room, which seems to reflect familiarity and sentimental intimacy, when she comes clean saying she thought Graham was going to run away with her as they had agreed, in response, her friend comments about how Graham was probably afraid, followed by Megan asking “and I'm not?" This is the first time Megan is completely honest about her feelings and her identity as a lesbian, and this is the first time she admits to being scared.

5. Simulated sexual lifestyle. This part of the story focuses on Graham and her journey to acceptance as she faces the consequences of her decisions. As the name of the step indicates, it focuses on imitating having sex. Graham and the guy she participates with are dressed in a full body suit, only with fake leaves being an extra layer on their private parts. “Sex is beautiful when its between a man and a woman”, says the director, as she instructs them on what a normative heterosexual cisgender couple should do. Graham manages to complete the steps, finally having the opportunity to graduate as an official heterosexual.

More than twenty years have passed since the film's release, and with that its message is still present, as is sarcastic comedy that pokes fun at the stereotypes of the society that tries to imitate them. As one of the few LGBT+ films that is not a tragedy, it goes without saying that the way it ends gives hope to people trapped in social and cultural expectations who do not conform to the established norm, since it demonstrates the importance of a community where support, communication and unconditional love are more important than staying in an environment where one cannot be their true self.