This is stupid υ´• ﻌ •`υ

I tried it, i really did it Right? Or just pretend that I do? Because sometimes I watch how others act, they say and it seems that I only get worse the more I grow up, I remember mom saying "when you didn’t have dramas" Of course, before I was more sociable and empathetic... I asked her something about if i had started to be less empathetic and she said yes, that i wasn't anymore. That really made me think that Im becoming someone I don’t want to be, i never wanted to be so rude or gross, i always wanted to be someone good and make others happy but i think Im jut a waste of time for everyone, i try to improve but sometimes it seems I will never do it, I’m just a crying kid who lost the spark, I got lost and I need someone to hug me, to tell me that they can help and guide me, I would like them to show me what I do wrong, to teach this stupid dog that what is doing wrong because sometimes I feel like I don’t control what I do or say, I don’t want to disappoint anyone anymore, I don’t want to be alone, but what if no one is happy by my side? Wanting them to be although they do not look happy or comfortable is selfish, now I just cry senselessly, some of this makes sense? I just want to be enough for those I love, I want to see them well and be proud of me! And see that I deserve that. I want them to not longer have to clarify that they love me, so they dont have to deal with my insecurities, I’m sorry for always feel dumb emotions, and feel bad for stupid things That nobody cares, I'm sorry for being rotten over time, I try to arrange the pieces so it looks good, but sometimes I look "deformed", I’m not even healthy at all, years ago I carried a horrible denture, and will continue so, even if I fix it seems that something bad will always happen with it, and I’m afraid, the future scares me, and if I keep getting worse un all senses? What if I can’t? And if I’m not good for it? Or at all? What if my current way of being ruins everything? Sometimes I’m very disgusted, I don’t understand my actions of maybe minutes ago, or Hours, sometimes I say "why the fuck did I say that? " Or maybe "because I didn’t do it before? " Why i Can't See the things I did or say? My brain its okay??? Im trying, i hope that im doing it but please, Don't get tired of me, can still be fun and a good person ¿right? ˙◠˙

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