a plea for death- wait, no, something else????

tw mentions of death, suicide, pills, etc

i’m not alive but i’d hate to die

i’m losing friends 

i’m losing me 

i’m not alive but i’d hate to die 

shoot me, sedate me, pull the trigger

don’t miss me

please don’t miss me

or let me live and die an early death

at the end of the day is it the knot in your stomach or the sting in your skin

the fear, the guilt, the pain

is it the rope or the pills or the rooftop so high it takes your breath away

alive, i’d love to die

dead, i want to live

i think i’d love to die

but i want to live

but how can i live when i’m already dead?

-remedyr.p