about me ex <@:*)

IT'S ME. Again :DDDD

It's time to talk about my ex. YEAH, I'm hurt and resentful, because... Well, you'll find out now.

We met in school when I was 14 and he was 15. We were friends for about a year and then started dating xP. That's when I found out he was using drugs, lol, AND THAT DIDN'T STOP ME!!!! XDDD

 I was young and stupid............ So, we started dating. We finished school (I was 15, he was 16 — in Russia, you can finish after 9th or 11th grade; we finished 9th). I entered college in the music education department, and he went to work. He spent his entire salary on clothes and drugs, but at the time it didn't bother me. He decided not to get his high school diploma and not to get a military registration certificate (which is illegal in Russia, as it's avoiding compulsory military service), but we loved each other.

 My mother was against everything that was happening, but she trusted me.

By then, I was already in psychotherapy and getting treatment. He was against my therapy and thought it was a sham. And I quit therapy for the next two years to feel comfortable and "loved" (by a drug addict who didn't respect me... oh God...).

Okay, then, my mom moved to another city and left me alone in the apartment (I was already 18 by then, so three years had passed). For those three years, he kept swearing he would quit drugs and even seemed to have stopped, but he started drinking heavily. At one point, I ended up in the hospital with salmonella and was away for two weeks. He came once, dead drunk, to give me oranges (which I wasn't allowed to have, lol). When I returned home, I found out that he and his "best friend" at the time were using meth at my place!!!!! But I was too afraid to be alone; he had convinced me that no one else needed me.

The next thing that pushed me to break up was when he beat my dog. And then I thought... he had already proposed to me and I'd refused, and then he just hits my dog because the little one got off his leash and ran home when he heard fireworks? But even then, I didn't break up with him. I distanced myself and started drinking a lot with friends. Everyone told me to leave, and I finally decided. I broke up with him in November or early December (I don't remember exactly), and I felt really bad.

But my damaged psyche decided that wasn't enough. We got back together. We no longer lived together, but we saw each other occasionally and had sex. He ruined my birthday and Christmas, and I, like a complete fool, begged him not to leave. When he drove me into a panic attack and just went to sleep while I was at my most vulnerable, I finally kicked him out of my life for good.

Later, from mutual friends, I found out that he had wanted to come to my house, break in, and rape me; that he wanted to seduce my best friend into having sex; that he wanted to beat me up, and so on. By the way, before the final breakup, he had already raped me because I was depressed and my libido had dropped, but he didn’t care.

In the end, we broke up. I'm back in therapy and getting treatment, my current boyfriend supports me, and I'm thriving with him. But he continues to use drugs and drink. And this sounds harsh, but I'm happy that he continues to drown and suffer, while I enjoy my life. And most of all, I am glad that I was able to get rid of this freak.

Girls, if you are in a relationship where you are disrespected, abused, or pressured into intimacy without your consent... RUN! GET AWAY! He will never change. He just enjoys bullying someone weaker.

Love you, guys. Be happy. <3333