Emotion 3am dump

Sometimes I hate myself, with how I can talk to people and make friends and do all that kind of stuff. But I can't never make lasting connections. Every time I try and get a gf(I know, who wants a gf) I either fail miserable or don't make it past 2 months in a relationship. And it makes me hate myself. And then at 3am in the morning I'll sulk in my feels, and curse myself that I can never do anything right. But truly, sometimes I crave deeper connection with someone. And I know I'll always get crap from my parents cause I'm young and hwo it's just 'teen love' and it's never gonna last. But sometimes I want it to last. Yknow?