Limbo :/

It feels like my life has been in like a crazy ass limbo, but it usually gets like this around December time anyways so... I grew a HUGE hyper fixation on the Chinese God Nezha, but I'm embarrassed to call it a hyper fixation. So, turns out I *AM* neurodivergent and neurodivergent people have hyper fixations, but I swear I thought only autistic people could have those???? my friend told me to get off of twitter and TikTok because apparently that's not true but whatever. The reason this is relevant to my rant is because my life has literally fucking fallen apart (or at least it feels like it) and I have neglected myself, my car, my grades, my chores, and my social life just to solely consume Nezha content and Black Myth: Wukong content. 

This has caused a few people to rightfully be mad at me, but I just physically can't seem to make myself care? like, I want to care because I care about my future, but I just can't seem to even get out of bed. I just play Black Myth: Wukong and consume Nezha media. These two things have taken over my brain so badly I can't even sleep or focus in class anymore and I've also been skipping a lot of meals. 50% of that is because of Nezha but the other half is because I'm desperate to become skinny or at least skinnier. I weigh 164 pounds and I'm 5'7. I don't like that at all :,( I want to weigh perhaps 140? is that healthy for someone of my height? idk I just know I want to weigh less.

that's all I can think to complain about right now :|