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First time venting on this app, so… here goes.
I don’t really know where else to put all of this, and I don’t want to drop it on my friends directly, so SpaceHey gets to be my emotional dumpster tonight.
Recently things have been off with my girlfriend. She’s been super active all week, even though her final semester starts tomorrow. She’s planning to watch either the FNAF 2 movie or Avatar, and I thought a couple of weeks ago that I’d be coming along too. But instead, she just… shuts me out. Our relationship dynamic isn’t the typical “cute, clingy couple” thing, but lately it feels like she’s too busy to prioritize me at all. Or maybe she just doesn’t.
Meanwhile I see her chatting with my friends in their statuses, replying to their messages, being present for them… but when it comes to me, it takes her weeks to reply. And I’m stuck going, why? what changed?
She’s on this platform too, though barely active. I don’t even know if she’ll see this, but honestly I don’t think it even matters anymore. I’m never reassured about where I stand in the relationship. It gets to me. I end up crying almost every night wondering, “Does she still love me?”
Because right now it doesn’t feel like it.
November was her birthday. I got her so many things CDs, accessories, an action Miku figure, small gifts that reminded me of her. But even after all of that, things just feel cold. We have a shared emo playlist, and she doesn’t update it anymore. She doesn’t mention me anywhere. She doesn’t react to my Instagram notes, doesn’t check my WhatsApp channel updates, barely acknowledges the things I try to share.
It’s like she’s slowly fading away from the relationship, and I’m the only one trying to keep the connection alive.
And now I feel like I’m just bothering her. Like every message I send is an interruption. Like I’m wasting her time instead of being someone she wants to talk to. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even feel motivated to show up socially anymore.
To make it worse, next week she’s going thrifting with one of my female friends and I’m supportive, but I can’t help wondering:
When is she going to have time for me?
When do I get to feel chosen again?
I’m not writing this to be dramatic. I’m writing it because I genuinely feel lost. I don’t know if I messed up, or if she’s just grown distant, or if I’m holding on to something that stopped being mutual a while ago.
But I guess this is what venting is for.
Just getting it out.
Because holding it in has been exhausting.
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Vivi !
Communication is the #1 most important thing in relationships, in my opinion. If she is responding to multiple other people, has changed plans to see a movie or two with you, etc. it may be worth having a chat with her about why and what's going on, if something's changed, and also how you feel.
I was in a relationship like that, and this happened two different times. The first time, she did confide in me that something I had said came off the wrong way, and upset her- which was completely valid and we were able to get past it. Which can show that it could be something as small as a miscommunication somewhere, not always necessarily larger!
If you feel this way though, and it continues / does not improve with communication or she ignores you, it may be best to weigh how the relationship is impacting you and the best course of action. Im sorry this is happening to you :(