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Not sure what to say—this might just be a rant or whatever, since I’ve never posted a blog entry before. I don’t really do Reddit or Twitter/X, so I’m not sure how categories work or what counts as what, but I picked “Life,” so… meh.
I’ve always wanted the in-person school experience ever since I could even be allowed in a classroom. But lately—it’s been a rollercoaster. For almost a year now, I’ve been doing online school, though I still have to go in-person for CTS and other stuff. I honestly have zero idea what to do. I spend so much time inside that I barely leave my bed, and sometimes I don’t even have the energy for school—even though this is my last year before graduation. That is… if I even pass.
Then there’s college. I have to pick schools before I even graduate because of this thing called FAFSA (some might know it). For FAFSA, there’s a max limit of ten college selections, so I have to choose wisely. It’s overwhelming. Where I’m from, school is expensive, and I might even need to consider out-of-state options. That comes with being far from family, though… honestly, I’m kind of okay with that.
The other thing is being stuck inside. I can barely go outside without worrying about something. When I’m with my mom, I can only go out if she comes with me, since she can’t do things alone. I used to go on little walks by myself, but now I’m in an area I don’t know well, so I can’t just wander. When I’m with my dad’s side, it’s even stricter—I get treated like I’m ten. The only time I go outside is walking his sister’s dog, and there’s a limit on how far I can go. They even have my location on 24/7. With my mom, the only time I go outside is if she takes me somewhere or I do a short walk for my dogs. But technically, I never have alone time—unless my brother or mom is gone—and I’m basically never alone at my dad’s.
Friends? Barely any left to see in person. Most have graduated, or they’re online too. I made this account hoping to connect with people, but I’m still getting used to the site. Though, to be fair, it’s a pretty cool website, and the app looks fun—like some of the iPod apps I used.
So yeah… if anyone made it this far into my rant and has suggestions, I’d honestly appreciate them. I just want to figure out what to do… or even how to go outside more.
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Zagara
Hi there,
I don't know if I have "suggestions", because it'd be weird to have any judgement just based off a blog entry.
More of a question : why are you on online school exactly ? The school is the time for teens to be "alone" from their parents. So without it, it's kinda enclosing. Not very sane to have zero social relation.
If the answer is because of social anxiety, then I'd say it's a dangerous inversion of cause and effect. We are social animals, but sociability is a skill one acquires by doing it. There's no other way, really. Yeah it's uncomfortable and most people aren't nice. But the more you socialize and the better you become to it. Each interaction and discussion is like a minigame to learn how people react and form bonds.
So yeah perhaps I have a suggestion, actually : go to a club. Go to some social activity, anything that maked you want to go outside and give you a context where you're among people your age.
But it's difficult to sat more than that without knowing you.
Don't worry, it will work out in the end ~★
Yes I can see where yyou're coming from and what you're saying Well yes it's apart of anxiety but not fully that's since I have other issues for mental stuff theres also medical styuff short terms is a nerve problem(AMPS). I used to be in clubs since my friends where in there but pretty much the more I had to not be at school the less anyone would talk to me unless I was physically there, I do have online friends I communicate with so I at least get that human interaction but ya social stuff can still be nice but I do prefer quiet someone's also why I went on walks since it's just calming. And im currently in transition well more of like moving so social stuff can be iffy when you know nobody around you. I was thinking maybe social public areas, but would have to give reasons.
But anyways thanks for commenting does give more a little more to think about.
by not._.bread; ; Report