Fk my stupid baka life

The first year of college was pretty great. But now that me being queer has kind of become a known thing, i feel left out and targeted by my batch mates. which sucks, cuz it's literally only them who're bugging my like this. they'll be saying all kinds of homophobic and transphobic shit, knowing damned well im gay n trans, right when im in the room. its on purpose too cuz when i leave they giggle like they just achieved something.  i can never stand up for myself, becuz every time these people start talking mad shit all i remember is getting relentlessly bullied in school, and getting my ass kicked when i was a child. 

sometimes i really do regret being open abt my identity, at the same time i feel like if i try to go back in the closet it'll be a death sentence to the person i am, and that everything i did to feel safe in my skin is just gonna get undone.

sometimes it feels like there's no one out there who gets me. ik this isnt true, because i do have some close friends who do get me and respect me for who i am. it's just that it's hard not to feel lonely when they all go to different colleges, and im just.... stuck here, with these pricks. its like being back to square one again.