wuh oh

Uhhh so I'd say I believe there's a God out there and that I'm a Christian. A lukewarm Christian.. ugh and I feel a bit crappy for it but there's no point in overthinking about something I can fix. (ahem I'm still gonna continue) Anyways, I've noticed I have a lack of motivation when it comes to going to church and reading the bible. Going to church kinda feels like a chore to me and whenever I read the bible it's always when I'm feeling negative and I'm desperate for the word of God. I sin and sometimes I know it's a sin but do it anyways. Music especially makes me feel like it doesn't align with my religion but what the heck I still listen to it anyways. It's so random and I've denied relating to it but I have this one quote suck in my head I made up, (I think I did unless another person has already said it.) "Religion was never a band I could get myself into." I honestly don't feel totally disconnected from God, maybe when I'm older and more mature I can build a connection and passion for religion because that's how it was for my mom. When she was my age she didn't really care for church. I love God and he's the reason I am where I am today, but gosh I SUCK practicing and preaching.. uh so yeh ermmmm writing this makes me realize how much I've revolved myself around music..idk if its in a unhealthy way uh oh