Two depressing conclusions I've come to towards the end of this year

The first is that very many atheists from ex-Christian backgrounds have been permanently corrupted by their upbringings and don't realize it. It manifests in the form of bad pop culture opinions, toxic positivity at the worst possible times, being sticklers for rules at the worst possible times, and outright classism and corporate bootlicking. I've long ago quit caring too much about whether or not someone believes in God and one of my closest friends right now is a Muslim. I actually get along with and tolerate even my more conservative-leaning friends because we know better than to talk down to each other or directly correct every little thing.

The second conclusion is that American millennials are not my friends and I will not have anymore beyond the tiny handful I have because I have forever missed my chance to earn everyone else's respect. Their sexual relationships, marriages, children, brutal work schedules, and even student loan debts are signs of adulthood to them and they think everyone not like them is a loser. This is a truth that even extends to all of my cousins since none of them want anything to do with me. There was a very narrow window, or series of windows rather, in which I could achieve everything they did by now and I missed every single one. Because I cannot command respect with privileges and responsibilities, I am automatically locked out of everyone else's social lives and other millennials will use dirty tricks to make sure I can never enjoy what they already enjoy.

I'm placing bets for my whole future on Spain or Argentina because I do not want to live in a country where everyone is too busy for me and does not respect me. I've lived up and down the south and finally on the West Coast, so I know that simply moving to another city, none of which I can afford nor really want to, is not the solution. The entire United States is corrupted and my very survival actually depends on going abroad.