dreams 3.12.25

Numbness is so weird. Like not being able to feel anything expect this tiring darkness, not even dark just fog. Ever since autumn started I've been feeling like this more often. It's likely bcs of the dark and coldness of starting winter.

These are the times I think about wanting to live somewhere else. You know the thing about Japan being for teenage boys well Ireland is for the teenage girls L.O.L

I wanted to move to Ireland back in the day, mostly because I had this MASSIVE crush on Robert Sheehan and somehow thought every irish would look like him,,,, but they look more like Ed Sheerans.........mhm

I think my mom is scamming my dad out of money, she's deffo influencing him to drink more even though he shouldn't be bcus of his medication and past with alcoholism.

It's weird growing up being told your dad is the evil parent only to realize it's actually your mom? My sister especially keeps texting me about mom and constantly wanting me to have information of mom like I'm some kind of spy? It's so exhausting, it's like as soon as I told my fam that I wanted to become a therapist they thought it's an open invitation to become my unasked patients.

Like I'm trying to become a therapist maybe start my own buisness where I can book clients for short term therapy, art therapy and aba therapy. It's nice to have something to aim for, yet still in the back of my mind I can't stop thinking about movies...directing.

I yearn to direct something to make something, yet it's just way too unrealistic. Especially how the art and culture departments just keep getting cutted and dried of everything.

I hate capitalism I hate the rich I hate the people in charge. Capitalism is the reason to our end, our planet, our humanity everything's being destroyed. 

There could be something simple our goverments could do though....and that is to start taxing the rich. WHY ARE THEY NOT DOING IT???? I will never understand why not. It could help solve so much yet the rich just keep getting richer and the poor poorer. It's so unfair.

I wish I didn't need to take apart of this rat race, this dystopian society that we're living in, yet the ones that truly can live like that? Are the rich.

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