Dear diary..

Okay so I don't really want to add layouts on my blog rn bcz I just want to talk about an old friend I used to know.

There's this friend of mine that I met back at about 6th grade and we used to be bestfriends. We met because one of us asked what kind of fandom I'm in and I was excited to to meet someone just as chronically online. She was a cool artist and I was inspired to draw because of her. 

It felt like nothing could go wrong. My first friend in my whole school year life. It wasn't like I was a loner, I just always end up alone because everyone had their own bestfriend. 

She had a girlfriend and I supported her, excited to meet her. When I heard she had her own friend group I was happy to meet new people. Sometime I ask her to make comics for me and that made me obsessed with comics. I would bring my plushies to school and she would borrow it for a few days. It was great and nothing could possibly go wrong. 

But at the few months before summer break, it began to die quietly. I had became gloomy for some reason and it wasn't because we were emo but I actually felt really miserable. But it seemed normal because of being emo and whatever. Which irritated me to no end because I had no one to talk to. And I regretted not telling her about it.

Because of that I get really frustrated when nobody listens to what I'm trying to say, I had thrown a fit and blurted out really bad things at her because I misunderstood a texts that supposed to be a "brb I gotta get or do something real quick" 

And from then on, it never really went back the way it was. Her girlfriend was pissed out and kinda wants me 6 feet under, and her friend group thinks I don't exist.

Now it's been years later and we had talked it all out, forgive and forget. But it wasn't the same anymore. She probably have been doing better than me. I never get to tell her than I really missed her and if we could be friends again. 

Anyways,,,, That's a WHOLE lot of venting. So tldr: I miss my friend, I wanna be friends again.