Cascade

days spiral into weeks

weeks cascade into months

and perhaps months will soon become years

as the eleventh month becomes past

and the last becomes present

i wonder to myself, whatever will become of my future?

uncertainty clouds my days.

my routine is flooded with hedonistic self-destruction

spirals upon spirals signaling a slow slicing of the soul

as the smoke i inhale fills my throat

and as my liver processes the alcohol i drink

my mind fights a multifaceted war against itself

and while i smoke and drink myself to oblivion

i see myself in the past, a clueless young man

desperate to find answers from wherever he can find it

as i reminisce, i cannot help but shed a tear

not for who i am today, but for what that young man had become

i see him standing in front of me, eyes filled with contempt and disgust

speechless, i can only reminisce and silently contemplate to myself

for what's done is done, and past is past

and I move forward, and carry on, numbing myself in any way i can

as packets and packets are used, and as my wallet runs dry

all the alcohol and nicotine in my bloodstream slowly melt my mind

forgetting everything just to repeat the exact cycle once again, in about 24 hours time