B4d dreams

I still hope these are bad dreams. All the worst things, or the things I was so afraid of, that happen to me r bad dreams that r long in here and short in reality I have almost stopped taking pills and this is gradually bringing me back to myself, even if it is slowly n painfully happening through every day of looking at myself in the mirror. Or maybe I stayed the way I was or always was. Maybe someday I'll wake up n my hair will be long again n my body will suit me again. I will stop feeling somehow different nd abnormal. It's not bad but I can't accept it. I don't believe that I did what I was so afraid of n didn't intend to do. This is very stupid n it was the most futile act. I don't know why I did it, I guess it was one of those bad dreams