yeah

i hope that there's a cough i cant pass. ill finally say alright and go to the hospital. ill do a few scans, wait a little. ah, a little fluid in my lungs, maybe they'll give me some cough suppressant and tell me to go home. they don't, nurse comes and tells me to talk with the doctor. he says there's a serious, lard sized lump in my right lung. looks horrible. ok, the smoking caught up with me. wait a few months, all while inhaling more poison of course, go in for a biopsy. coughs worse, feeling more fatigued. boom, late stage 3 lung cancer. i'm done man, that's it. ill say no to chemo, no to help. 

don't have the cash for it anyway. 

dump my life earnings, search for my last kiss. hug one more person. share some photos, take my last one. smoke some more pot. maybe one last tab for the afterlife visions. eat some food, watch the stars every night. find a good tune for the living, so they can play it in my death. kiss her.

then find my hole, right by some trees in maybe the upper west coast. play my tune and leave a letter. suns shining just right, ive thought about her and us, my friends and those close. replayed my favorite memories. smelled the last flower. i part my hair and rub my face.

so peaceful. slowly breathe in, and. yeah.